I cant believe how long its been since I have posted! These last few weeks have been SO busy. I am sorry for being a bad blogger and a bad reader. Juggling work and a wedding is way more time consuming that I could ever have imagined. Fortunately, my business is mostly due to fun things so I cant complain.
I can happily post that my weight is 144.8 so at least these few weeks havent been spent eating off track. I have attended a few parties and dinners out, but I have kept myself in check and have planned ahead, looked at calories online, and did the best that I could. My wedding dress is a huge motivation to keep my weight at this point so that is helping me. Any time I want to eat something I shouldnt, I just think of my dress and me in it on the actual day, and it keeps me in check.
My exercise is pretty on course as well. Things are really busy and its been a struggle just to get exercise in, but I have been averaging around 4 days a week which isnt bad at all. My best friend just got motivated to lose weight and is into walking, so I have been walking with her once a week and its been fun to get in exercise and be able to gossip and talk. Im glad I can help keep her motivated too. I know she is anxious about fitting in her bridesmaids dress, so that is a big motivation right there.
Work has been stressful and I have been putting in a lot of hours which makes me want to come home and stress eat, but I have been managing. Add that to the stress of the movin with my fiance (which is going well but still is difficult to adjust to sometimes), and I have felt like I want to just eat and eat, but I know where that gets me and I just have to push those thoughts aside and stick to what is best for me. Its hard because my fiance is always snacking and on things that are not healthy and having that kind of food in the house is a trigger for me, but I continue to eat what I know is healthy and I am sure with time I will be able to resist more easily.
Fun things coming up: my dress fitting tomorrow and my bridal shower next weekend! So excited - these are the fun times of being a bride.
Hope I remember to be a better blogger in the coming weeks.
Showing posts with label Accomplishments. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Accomplishments. Show all posts
Friday, August 20, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Moving is the new diet
I guess that moving is the new diet because I weighed myself today at 144.4! I didnt do anything differently this week other than I was constantly unpacking, moving things, and cleaning, so I guess that all burns quite a few calories I would say. Not complaining and hopefully this isnt a fluke and I can really claim this as a loss.
Life here has been really busy and a bit stressful. Last weekend we were so busy that we didnt get as much done as we had wanted, so just about every night this week has been busy doing things around our new place. I did get in 3 days of exercise this week which is more than I can say for last week, so thats one positive thing. My new workout area is a bit smaller so its an adjustment to move around the furniture in the room, but Im not going to let that stop me. Things are falling into a routine which is better, and I have been making some new meals. My fiance also grilled 2 nights which was wonderful because of course its nice to have someone cook for you, but also because it makes a standard such as chicken taste different.
Every weekend for about the next month is shaping up to be so busy too, but good busy. I have wedding planning things, concerts, and parties lined up so its nice to have fun things to do, and I already know I can master most situations and find healthy things to eat. Last Sunday some friends of ours invited us out to dinner to this chicken place. It was featured on that show Diners, Driveins, and Dives. Well of course it is a FRIED chicken place so I wasnt too excited about going there. As I suspected, the menu was pretty much fried chicken and any other friend food you could imagine. However, they did have a great salad bar and I found the one food that was actually grilled. It ended up being a great meal and while I didnt really have much of a choice in what I ate, I felt good knowing I found something healthy and enjoyed it anyways.
Sorry I havent been around to many blogs, I am a bad reader! hopefully can catch up this weekend.
Life here has been really busy and a bit stressful. Last weekend we were so busy that we didnt get as much done as we had wanted, so just about every night this week has been busy doing things around our new place. I did get in 3 days of exercise this week which is more than I can say for last week, so thats one positive thing. My new workout area is a bit smaller so its an adjustment to move around the furniture in the room, but Im not going to let that stop me. Things are falling into a routine which is better, and I have been making some new meals. My fiance also grilled 2 nights which was wonderful because of course its nice to have someone cook for you, but also because it makes a standard such as chicken taste different.
Every weekend for about the next month is shaping up to be so busy too, but good busy. I have wedding planning things, concerts, and parties lined up so its nice to have fun things to do, and I already know I can master most situations and find healthy things to eat. Last Sunday some friends of ours invited us out to dinner to this chicken place. It was featured on that show Diners, Driveins, and Dives. Well of course it is a FRIED chicken place so I wasnt too excited about going there. As I suspected, the menu was pretty much fried chicken and any other friend food you could imagine. However, they did have a great salad bar and I found the one food that was actually grilled. It ended up being a great meal and while I didnt really have much of a choice in what I ate, I felt good knowing I found something healthy and enjoyed it anyways.
Sorry I havent been around to many blogs, I am a bad reader! hopefully can catch up this weekend.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Moved
Yes I am still here! Its been a busy week. I moved into a new apartment with my fiance on Sunday so things have been a bit crazy the past 2 weeks with packing, moving, and unpacking. Everything is definitely out of sorts, but my new apartment is so much bigger and nice, and its nice to have the "official" movein with my fiance since we are always together, but we didnt officially live together yet. Unfortunately all the moving and stress caused me to get a cold the day after we moved. So I have been dealing with that all week too.
I wasnt sure what to expect with my weighin, but it wasnt bad 146.6. Thats actually what I weighed last week when i skipped posting, so a maintain is not a bad thing at all. I technically only worked out once this week. Mostly because the other 2 days I was so sick or busy and didnt have any of my equipment or dvd player and dvds, but Im fairly certain I burned my share of calories on Sunday and moving with all the moving and cleaning. I could definitely tell that because of all the exercising I do, my stamina was really good. My old apartment is on the second floor of where I live now and in a completely different wing (there are three wings to this apartment complex). Instead of taking the elevator, I was going up and down those stairs and down the hallways and for the most part, I was feeling great. I was carrying boxes and stuff that was really heavy and pushing myself to the limit just as I would when working out. So when its all said and done, I think I worked out just fine enough with that and can give myself a break for not doing my routine every day as I normally would. Now if only I was smart enough to have drank enough water and eaten something I wouldnt have gotten sick.
But now the exercise equipment, dvds, and dvd player are unpacked and set up, so I have no excuse. Its going to be a little different now that I live with my fiance to get into a rhythm of working out since sometimes I do it when I feel like it which may or may not be good now that he will be here and perhaps its dinner time or whatever. But he understands its important to me so I know he will let me do my thing. I was a little nervous about the food situation since he eats fairly healthy, but we did have to buy some things at the store that I dont buy such as chips and snacks. I was worried that I would be tempted, but Im actually not. Ive made healthy meals all week (well except for one trip to Jimmy Johns for dinner because we didnt have any food, but I had a whole wheat turkey sandwich so I was good) and I realize I dont have much to worry about since he will eat healthy with me.
Its really really hot here as well. Pushing 100 and then with some humidity. So I pulled out something I havent worn in perhaps 10 years - a pair of shorts. Now I wear shorts around the house or to sleep in, but not to actually go out in public in. But I did it today. I still have some jiggliness to my legs and mostly thighs, but I have to say that its not horrible. Ive seen people who look much worse out there today wearing shorts, and it feels really good not to be hot and walking around in jeans or capris like I have for so many years. This definitely makes the weight loss worth it!
I wasnt sure what to expect with my weighin, but it wasnt bad 146.6. Thats actually what I weighed last week when i skipped posting, so a maintain is not a bad thing at all. I technically only worked out once this week. Mostly because the other 2 days I was so sick or busy and didnt have any of my equipment or dvd player and dvds, but Im fairly certain I burned my share of calories on Sunday and moving with all the moving and cleaning. I could definitely tell that because of all the exercising I do, my stamina was really good. My old apartment is on the second floor of where I live now and in a completely different wing (there are three wings to this apartment complex). Instead of taking the elevator, I was going up and down those stairs and down the hallways and for the most part, I was feeling great. I was carrying boxes and stuff that was really heavy and pushing myself to the limit just as I would when working out. So when its all said and done, I think I worked out just fine enough with that and can give myself a break for not doing my routine every day as I normally would. Now if only I was smart enough to have drank enough water and eaten something I wouldnt have gotten sick.
But now the exercise equipment, dvds, and dvd player are unpacked and set up, so I have no excuse. Its going to be a little different now that I live with my fiance to get into a rhythm of working out since sometimes I do it when I feel like it which may or may not be good now that he will be here and perhaps its dinner time or whatever. But he understands its important to me so I know he will let me do my thing. I was a little nervous about the food situation since he eats fairly healthy, but we did have to buy some things at the store that I dont buy such as chips and snacks. I was worried that I would be tempted, but Im actually not. Ive made healthy meals all week (well except for one trip to Jimmy Johns for dinner because we didnt have any food, but I had a whole wheat turkey sandwich so I was good) and I realize I dont have much to worry about since he will eat healthy with me.
Its really really hot here as well. Pushing 100 and then with some humidity. So I pulled out something I havent worn in perhaps 10 years - a pair of shorts. Now I wear shorts around the house or to sleep in, but not to actually go out in public in. But I did it today. I still have some jiggliness to my legs and mostly thighs, but I have to say that its not horrible. Ive seen people who look much worse out there today wearing shorts, and it feels really good not to be hot and walking around in jeans or capris like I have for so many years. This definitely makes the weight loss worth it!
Friday, July 2, 2010
Busy Week
ohh what a busy week this was. So glad it is the weekend, and a long weekend at that. Weight today is up to 147.4 which is a 1 pound gain from last week which is suspicious since I dont usually gain so much in one week from doing nothing out of the ordinary. Who knows, but 147 isnt bad at all. I also was so busy this week that I only got in 3 days of exercise, so that could definitely contribute. I was eating dinner at odd times and today i feel extremely bloated. Probably TOM approaching.
But at least I am out there having fun and living life and sometimes its hard to balance that and losing weight and working out. There were definitely temptations but I think I did really well. Wednesday my fiance and I went to see the Stanley cup and was sitting at the bar we were at for about 3 hrs. I witnessed just about every type of food imagineable being brought out to other tables and I was so tempted to order something. Mostly I realized I was bored and wanted to eat, and Im glad I realized that and didnt give in. I wasnt even going to drink (mostly because I had to work the next day), however I did end up having one beer because my fiance's cousin bought it for us after we saw the Cup. Then yesterday I went to the movies with my friend and didnt get popcorn. Oh it smelled fantastic thats for sure, but I passed on it and Im glad that I did.
I know that with each thing I get through and remain strong in what I want, it helps me become stronger for the future. Hopefully after years of doing this it will just be second nature and not so hard at times.
But at least I am out there having fun and living life and sometimes its hard to balance that and losing weight and working out. There were definitely temptations but I think I did really well. Wednesday my fiance and I went to see the Stanley cup and was sitting at the bar we were at for about 3 hrs. I witnessed just about every type of food imagineable being brought out to other tables and I was so tempted to order something. Mostly I realized I was bored and wanted to eat, and Im glad I realized that and didnt give in. I wasnt even going to drink (mostly because I had to work the next day), however I did end up having one beer because my fiance's cousin bought it for us after we saw the Cup. Then yesterday I went to the movies with my friend and didnt get popcorn. Oh it smelled fantastic thats for sure, but I passed on it and Im glad that I did.
I know that with each thing I get through and remain strong in what I want, it helps me become stronger for the future. Hopefully after years of doing this it will just be second nature and not so hard at times.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Right way!
My positive thinking of being able to write about going the right way on the scale paid off. I just weighed in at a new low - 146.4! I am definitely happy that this week I didnt see a gain, and I am back down further away from 150.
I was a little nervous after last weekend since I went out to dinner with my fiance and his family and the restaurant that was selected had absolutely nothing that was healthy. There was chicken, but it was either fried or covered in cheese. Fish, again breaded or covered in some type of sauce that was unhealthy. I selected the healthiest dish I could find, filled up on salad, and I am glad that one meal didnt screw things up on the scale and I can feel decent about the choice I basically was forced to make. It happens to us all, we are invited out to eat and struggle to make choices and sometimes you can and sometimes you cant. It wasnt the first time Ive been in the position and I know it wont be the last and Im glad that I can just move on from it and that the scale doesnt punish me.
Ive been wanting to write about the Losing it with Jillian show since I have been reading mixed thoughts about it on different blogs. Ive watched the show, and while it isnt biggest loser and is definitely a way to promote her and her products, I think she is getting a lot of crap because she is so hard on people when I think thats exactly what they need. Now I may be biased because I like her and have all her dvds, but for the most part, I think there are 2 kinds of people. People who when pushed, can break through whatever block they have and move on or those who just give up. I realize this because as time has gone on, Ive realized that I am the kind of person who likes a challenge and so I really respect where she comes from. For example, my mom also has her 30 day shred that I myself have as well. The first few times I did that dvd, it was hard and I was tempted to give up. But I also realized that if I kept doing it, every time it would get a little easier. Thats exactly what happened and by the end of the 30 days, I was doing that dvd like it was my job and was so proud that I could keep up. Now my mom on the other hand gave up after 2 tries and had no desire to push herself to achieve more. I think a lot of times people do not realize what they are capable of, and sometimes if all it takes is a woman screaming in your face to push you to a point where you finally realize you can do it, then its worth it. Not everyone has that drive. Not everyone feels the way that i do - that you can work at something little by little instead of being intimidated. I am sure that is why losing weight and becoming healthier is harder for some than others. Im not saying it wasnt hard for me, but I had that drive and didnt let bumps in the road or others deter me. Its too bad not everyone is like that, but I do appreciate what Jillian is doing, whether it seems harsh or not, I get where she is coming from. Thats what I take away from the show anyways. Not the fluff or the money or the tears. That you can push yourself and achieve things you never realized you could if you dont give up.
I was a little nervous after last weekend since I went out to dinner with my fiance and his family and the restaurant that was selected had absolutely nothing that was healthy. There was chicken, but it was either fried or covered in cheese. Fish, again breaded or covered in some type of sauce that was unhealthy. I selected the healthiest dish I could find, filled up on salad, and I am glad that one meal didnt screw things up on the scale and I can feel decent about the choice I basically was forced to make. It happens to us all, we are invited out to eat and struggle to make choices and sometimes you can and sometimes you cant. It wasnt the first time Ive been in the position and I know it wont be the last and Im glad that I can just move on from it and that the scale doesnt punish me.
Ive been wanting to write about the Losing it with Jillian show since I have been reading mixed thoughts about it on different blogs. Ive watched the show, and while it isnt biggest loser and is definitely a way to promote her and her products, I think she is getting a lot of crap because she is so hard on people when I think thats exactly what they need. Now I may be biased because I like her and have all her dvds, but for the most part, I think there are 2 kinds of people. People who when pushed, can break through whatever block they have and move on or those who just give up. I realize this because as time has gone on, Ive realized that I am the kind of person who likes a challenge and so I really respect where she comes from. For example, my mom also has her 30 day shred that I myself have as well. The first few times I did that dvd, it was hard and I was tempted to give up. But I also realized that if I kept doing it, every time it would get a little easier. Thats exactly what happened and by the end of the 30 days, I was doing that dvd like it was my job and was so proud that I could keep up. Now my mom on the other hand gave up after 2 tries and had no desire to push herself to achieve more. I think a lot of times people do not realize what they are capable of, and sometimes if all it takes is a woman screaming in your face to push you to a point where you finally realize you can do it, then its worth it. Not everyone has that drive. Not everyone feels the way that i do - that you can work at something little by little instead of being intimidated. I am sure that is why losing weight and becoming healthier is harder for some than others. Im not saying it wasnt hard for me, but I had that drive and didnt let bumps in the road or others deter me. Its too bad not everyone is like that, but I do appreciate what Jillian is doing, whether it seems harsh or not, I get where she is coming from. Thats what I take away from the show anyways. Not the fluff or the money or the tears. That you can push yourself and achieve things you never realized you could if you dont give up.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Time Passes By
Things have gotten so busy and unfortunately this blog got put on the back burner the past 2 weeks. I cannot believe how time just flies on by.
Life is going well, I have been busy with parties, looking at limos and tuxes for the wedding, and looking at apartments. My fiance and I decided to move into a 2 bedroom apt because we need the room and we found a really nice one so it will be moving time in July. Wish it could be a house, but that will be on our agenda after the wedding for sure.
Work is picking up a lot as well and I think my time of leaving work at a decent hour is up. Construction season started (yes here in Chicago road construction is a season) and it has caused me to spend hours more in the car a day so its been a struggle to get my exercise in. I was doing about 5 days a week and that has gone down to 4, and I really hope I can at least keep that. its funny because years ago I would not have been concerned at all about working out, but the other day I complained to my fiance how I didnt have time to work out that day and would gain weight again, and he said, "you wont gain weight because you didnt work out for one day", and he is perfectly right. Sometimes I just have to remind myself of that fact.
I also had lunch out last week because a coworker won lunch for herself and 10 other coworkers so I got invited a long. it was a breakfast place and while I really would have loved the cinnabon french toast, I got the most amazing breakfast: it was half of a pinapple filled with yogurt, granola, bananas, and strawberries. SO delicious. Everyone made such a big deal how I was choosing to eat healthy, but in my eyes, it was definitely worth it.
Yesterday I was traveling to a client site and the consultant I was with took me out to lunch where I had a wrap so I have really been trying to just do the best that I can. My weight is only down .2 from last week, but since I hit my goal, Im really ok with being where Im at and 148.8 is a perfectly fine weight for me.
So thats been my life the past few weeks in a nutshell. The coming week will be crazy too since my family will be in for mothers day, and I have a baby shower to attend as well. Im sure there will be lots of food and more healthy choices I will continue to make.
Life is going well, I have been busy with parties, looking at limos and tuxes for the wedding, and looking at apartments. My fiance and I decided to move into a 2 bedroom apt because we need the room and we found a really nice one so it will be moving time in July. Wish it could be a house, but that will be on our agenda after the wedding for sure.
Work is picking up a lot as well and I think my time of leaving work at a decent hour is up. Construction season started (yes here in Chicago road construction is a season) and it has caused me to spend hours more in the car a day so its been a struggle to get my exercise in. I was doing about 5 days a week and that has gone down to 4, and I really hope I can at least keep that. its funny because years ago I would not have been concerned at all about working out, but the other day I complained to my fiance how I didnt have time to work out that day and would gain weight again, and he said, "you wont gain weight because you didnt work out for one day", and he is perfectly right. Sometimes I just have to remind myself of that fact.
I also had lunch out last week because a coworker won lunch for herself and 10 other coworkers so I got invited a long. it was a breakfast place and while I really would have loved the cinnabon french toast, I got the most amazing breakfast: it was half of a pinapple filled with yogurt, granola, bananas, and strawberries. SO delicious. Everyone made such a big deal how I was choosing to eat healthy, but in my eyes, it was definitely worth it.
Yesterday I was traveling to a client site and the consultant I was with took me out to lunch where I had a wrap so I have really been trying to just do the best that I can. My weight is only down .2 from last week, but since I hit my goal, Im really ok with being where Im at and 148.8 is a perfectly fine weight for me.
So thats been my life the past few weeks in a nutshell. The coming week will be crazy too since my family will be in for mothers day, and I have a baby shower to attend as well. Im sure there will be lots of food and more healthy choices I will continue to make.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Doing Fine
Down .4 this week to a flat 159, so I guess I am doing just fine. I have been really bloated and TOM is on its way so any loss this week is welcome. It feels good to be at goal and not have any pressure anymore to get somewhere. Im happy where Im at and Im glad I have been able to just hang in there and do my thing.
I am at the point now where I am pulling out my spring/summer clothes and finding that a lot of things are too big. Not a bad thing, but an expensive thing and not an expense I need right now when I am paying for all this wedding stuff. I was frustrated last weekend when it was nice out and I put on a short sleeved cardigan from J Crew that I love (and was not cheap last year), and it just hung on me and gave me no shape. Thats the good and bad of losing weight - good because you are healthier and can wear a smaller size. Bad because none of your clothes fit. I am down to 2 pairs of jeans that fit me, the rest are all huge. Yes its a great thing but agan, definitely is expensive and I just dont have the money for a new wardrobe. Plus its annoying to be wearing the same jeans all the time and then having to wash them constantly. Maybe I need to contact What Not to Wear since sometimes they pick people who have lost weight and need new wardobes as opposed to those who just have bad clothes. I could really use the $5,000 (plus I love Stacey and Clinton). Probably not going to happen, but it would certainly be nice.
I am at the point now where I am pulling out my spring/summer clothes and finding that a lot of things are too big. Not a bad thing, but an expensive thing and not an expense I need right now when I am paying for all this wedding stuff. I was frustrated last weekend when it was nice out and I put on a short sleeved cardigan from J Crew that I love (and was not cheap last year), and it just hung on me and gave me no shape. Thats the good and bad of losing weight - good because you are healthier and can wear a smaller size. Bad because none of your clothes fit. I am down to 2 pairs of jeans that fit me, the rest are all huge. Yes its a great thing but agan, definitely is expensive and I just dont have the money for a new wardrobe. Plus its annoying to be wearing the same jeans all the time and then having to wash them constantly. Maybe I need to contact What Not to Wear since sometimes they pick people who have lost weight and need new wardobes as opposed to those who just have bad clothes. I could really use the $5,000 (plus I love Stacey and Clinton). Probably not going to happen, but it would certainly be nice.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Under Goal
Actually weighed in under goal today at 149.4. Thats a 1.4 loss in the past week which is pretty awesome since Sunday was Easter and I did eat more than I typically would but kept everything pretty much in check. It feels good to meet my goal and then some, and now Ill juse see where it takes me.
I am going to focus on trying to tone up more, especially for the wedding. While I feel really great in my dress (and thanks for all who commented on my pics), I am not really happy with the way my back looks and need some good back exercises if anyone has any recommendations. I did get a few from my last post and those are a great starting point. I think frequency is my problem as well since I tend to do strength training twice a week and only 1 of those days is focus on the back.
I really hate sometimes that I get so focused on certain parts of my body. I know that no one is perfect, and I hate that sometimes I strive to be so. I know it comes from my mother. Not that it is all her fault, but I think the pressure she always put on my sister and I has caused us to really focus too much on appearance and is one reason I believe my sister has an eating disorder. All my life growing up, she criticized my appearance and told me how to look. I was always healthy and thin so she would pick on my clothes or my hair. She would often tell me that I embarrassed her and that I needed to look a certain way so that when we were around people she knew, I would not reflect badly on her. it is one reason I rebelled in high school where I went through a period of wearing clothes that she HATED. She even took me to a counselor because she thought that there was something wrong with me because I didnt want to wear what she wanted me to, and stopped buying me clothes.
As I have gotten older, I have really seen how this has affected me. I could never be one to just run out to the store with my hair up and no makeup on, because in the back of my mind, I hear my moms voice saying that people will be judging me and think I am not a nice looking person. Any time I try something on, I tend to buy bigger because I feel like I need to camouflage amy trouble spots. Whenever I visit my parents, I feel like I have to bring my nicest clothes and be careful what I eat in front of my mom so that she doesnt judge me. I even find myself doing this with my fiance - when we go somewhere where he is meeting coworkers or such, I feel like I need him to dress a certain way so that he puts forth this image that I want others to see. And now with all this wedding stuff, I feel so much of this resurface. I sent my mom a picture of the bridal shower dress I bought and she just responded that I didnt need to get a smaller size, that it looked tight. I actually did buy a smaller size because the top was so big and everyone else I showed it to said that the smaller size was better. My mom then just commented that I needed to be sure that it was appropriate looking. Whatever! And even with my wedding dress last week, when she asked why it was so big and I responded that it was because I had lost 10 pounds and some inches, and she was like, well stop losing weight because I havent lost any. As if it is a contest of some sorts. She never said anything else about the dress or how I looked in it. In my mind, I just think that she doesnt like it or that she is looking at how broad my back looks or whatever.
Yes I have body issues and I probably always will. These thoughts and memories will always stay with me and I will have to fight to remind myself that I am a HEALTHY weight. That my BMI is healthy. That I do look ok, that no one is judging me but me. I want to get over these issues because I would hate to find myself with a daughter one day doing the same thing to her.
I am going to focus on trying to tone up more, especially for the wedding. While I feel really great in my dress (and thanks for all who commented on my pics), I am not really happy with the way my back looks and need some good back exercises if anyone has any recommendations. I did get a few from my last post and those are a great starting point. I think frequency is my problem as well since I tend to do strength training twice a week and only 1 of those days is focus on the back.
I really hate sometimes that I get so focused on certain parts of my body. I know that no one is perfect, and I hate that sometimes I strive to be so. I know it comes from my mother. Not that it is all her fault, but I think the pressure she always put on my sister and I has caused us to really focus too much on appearance and is one reason I believe my sister has an eating disorder. All my life growing up, she criticized my appearance and told me how to look. I was always healthy and thin so she would pick on my clothes or my hair. She would often tell me that I embarrassed her and that I needed to look a certain way so that when we were around people she knew, I would not reflect badly on her. it is one reason I rebelled in high school where I went through a period of wearing clothes that she HATED. She even took me to a counselor because she thought that there was something wrong with me because I didnt want to wear what she wanted me to, and stopped buying me clothes.
As I have gotten older, I have really seen how this has affected me. I could never be one to just run out to the store with my hair up and no makeup on, because in the back of my mind, I hear my moms voice saying that people will be judging me and think I am not a nice looking person. Any time I try something on, I tend to buy bigger because I feel like I need to camouflage amy trouble spots. Whenever I visit my parents, I feel like I have to bring my nicest clothes and be careful what I eat in front of my mom so that she doesnt judge me. I even find myself doing this with my fiance - when we go somewhere where he is meeting coworkers or such, I feel like I need him to dress a certain way so that he puts forth this image that I want others to see. And now with all this wedding stuff, I feel so much of this resurface. I sent my mom a picture of the bridal shower dress I bought and she just responded that I didnt need to get a smaller size, that it looked tight. I actually did buy a smaller size because the top was so big and everyone else I showed it to said that the smaller size was better. My mom then just commented that I needed to be sure that it was appropriate looking. Whatever! And even with my wedding dress last week, when she asked why it was so big and I responded that it was because I had lost 10 pounds and some inches, and she was like, well stop losing weight because I havent lost any. As if it is a contest of some sorts. She never said anything else about the dress or how I looked in it. In my mind, I just think that she doesnt like it or that she is looking at how broad my back looks or whatever.
Yes I have body issues and I probably always will. These thoughts and memories will always stay with me and I will have to fight to remind myself that I am a HEALTHY weight. That my BMI is healthy. That I do look ok, that no one is judging me but me. I want to get over these issues because I would hate to find myself with a daughter one day doing the same thing to her.
Friday, March 26, 2010
sooooooooo close
Weighed in at 150.2! Thats a pound loss from last week, and basically if you ignore the .2, I am at 150 pounds which was my goal. I am so thrilled. A year ago I was so frustrated that nothing was happening in terms of weight loss and I really thought I would never get to 150. This has been a great year so far, and I for now, Im just going to keep going and let things happen. If I can lose more, that would be great, but if not, I am really happy where I am at. this has definitely been a long process and it will be nice to just keep up with my routine and see where it gets me without any pressure of getting to a goal weight. I was a little nervous that I wouldnt see much change on this scale this week since I ended up missing a workout on Wednesday due to another eye dr visit (got soft contacts which have helped a lot), and I did overdo it a bit at the party I went to last weekend in terms of drinking. But thats life, I will have other weeks like this (have another party this weekend), and I feel that I can manage things pretty well to keep this up as long as I can.
Short post, but its at least a good one.
Short post, but its at least a good one.
Friday, March 19, 2010
there arent words
There are not words to describe how this week has been. On Monday I found out that my grandpa had a stroke (the same one I wrote about a few posts ago). They really did not think he was going to make it, but on Wednesday they discovered an infection in his brain that when they pumped him with antibiotics, cleared up and he woke up. There does not seem to be any brain damage. But then his kidneys failed so he had to go on dialysis. Today he had to go on a feeding tube. So it just seems like every day there is some new surprise and something to deal with. I have had to go through feelings of worry that he was going to die, acceptance that he was going to die, happiness he did not die, but unhappiness for the situation he is in and for the quality of his life which does not seem to be good.
This just gives me even more reason to want to be healthy now. I know any of those things can happen to people who live healthy lifestyles, but if what Im doing now even gives me a CHANCE of that not happening to me, then it is all worth it.
I also went to the eye dr this week because my contacts have been killing my eyes (I wear hard contacts), and ended up having to have all these tests done which included dilating my pupils and I had to drive home at rush hour IN TO THE SUN. I wanted to die. All the tests ended up taking so long that I missed my work out too which I was not happy about. So now I have to put these tearing drops in my eyes every hour, and I picked up an anti inflammatory prescription today that was a $60 copay which is NOT something I needed to pay for right now.
UGH. so that has been my week. On the positive side I lost a pound! I am down to 151.2 - SO close to seeing 150. Probably next week. I also ordered a dress online thinking it could be for my bridal shower or some type of shower this summer, and it arrived in a size 10 and its actually big in the top portion. I may have to go down a size which is really thrilling. Or I just need a bigger rack - perhaps a boob job? jk - never would do that. But we will see - just glad to get a dress that I like, fits, and actually is a little too big.
Need to recover from this hellish week - have a party tomorrow and will be likely going to visit my grandpa on Sunday. dont want to screw up my weigh in, but a drink sounds wonderful right now...
the dress
Friday, March 12, 2010
hmmm
Well I guess I had an off week because I only lost .2. I am happy for a loss and it brings me one step closer to my goal, but Im not going to lie and say that Im not disapointed because I am. I was on a good losing streak of about .8 a week so I was excited to see 151 today but NOPE. Guess not. If I felt that there was something I could have done differently, it would be one thing. But everything was on target; nothing was different about this week. The only thing I can think of is that TOM is about a week away and I guess when I think about it, I am a bit bloated. But I could just be making excuses so who knows. There was a week back in Jan where I gained around this time and then beginning of Feb I stayed the same for 2 weeks, so Im hoping this is just one of those weeks and next week or the week after, I will be right where I want to be. A teeny tiny part of my mind is whispering that I couldnt keep on a roll for that long and that this always happens right before you reach a goal. I am trying to tell that voice to shut up.
No major thoughts of the week - nothing much happened. I did have a great NSV last weekend when my fiance said that he could really tell that I have lost weight and inches and that I look "really skinny". well I wouldnt say I look "really skinny" but I was happy for the compliment and glad that my accomplishment so far is noticeable. I was riding high after that, but after this weighin, I guess it puts me in a bit of an unhappy mood that Ill have to snap out if. Ive been through this before and its not all about the scale. I can actually say too that once I do reach 150, I am not going to try and lose any more weight. If it happens thats great, if it doesnt, I think I am fine actually where I am at. It seems ridiculous that 8 pounds makes that much of a difference, but apparently it does because I am happier at this weight than I was 8 pounds ago. Some of that is inches lost too because that has made the biggest difference. But I think for once I am ready to give this a rest and just let nature take its course.
No major thoughts of the week - nothing much happened. I did have a great NSV last weekend when my fiance said that he could really tell that I have lost weight and inches and that I look "really skinny". well I wouldnt say I look "really skinny" but I was happy for the compliment and glad that my accomplishment so far is noticeable. I was riding high after that, but after this weighin, I guess it puts me in a bit of an unhappy mood that Ill have to snap out if. Ive been through this before and its not all about the scale. I can actually say too that once I do reach 150, I am not going to try and lose any more weight. If it happens thats great, if it doesnt, I think I am fine actually where I am at. It seems ridiculous that 8 pounds makes that much of a difference, but apparently it does because I am happier at this weight than I was 8 pounds ago. Some of that is inches lost too because that has made the biggest difference. But I think for once I am ready to give this a rest and just let nature take its course.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Doing it for the future
Weight today is 152.4, so a .8 loss. Im averaging about that each week now and I am pretty pleased with that. Hopefully at this rate I will be at my goal in 2-3 weeks. That should be good timing too since my wedding dress is supposed to be in by the end of the month and I would definitely like my alterations to be taken at this weight and it will be good incentive to maintain this until October.
Ive realized more and more this past month about how important everything I do now is for the future. Sure in the immediate future I want to be a certain weight and look a certain way, but I cant help but face that in 40-50 yrs from now, what I do now matters more than ever. When my dad was visiting a few weeks ago he wasnt here just to see me. My grandpa has been in bad shape the last 2 yrs or so. He falls down just about every week, has put himself in the hospital countless times, and he cannot really walk or do anything on his own. He fell about a month ago and was in the hospital and he was coming home the weekend my dad was here, who was helping out. Hearing my dad talk about what shape my grandpa was in made me really scared because I dont want to be that 60 years from now. I realize that when you get old its harder to do things and there are certain pitfalls, but I also see that things doing have to be the way they are for my grandpa. His years of smoking, poor eating habits, and being obese have taken its toll on him, and I know that could have easily been me years and years from now if I hadnt made the decision to change. I know I am still at risk for certain things and my future is not certain because of the choices I make now, but at least I know that I can change what Im doing now to ensure that I can be healthiest I can be when I am older. My fiance actually told me about an 80 year old man who still drag races in the NHRA I believe which I think is awesome. To be in that physical condition at an older age and not letting yourself be held back from what you love. Thats how I want to be and I really hope I am. Because I hate to think of what my life will be like if I were to end up like my grandpa.
Ive realized more and more this past month about how important everything I do now is for the future. Sure in the immediate future I want to be a certain weight and look a certain way, but I cant help but face that in 40-50 yrs from now, what I do now matters more than ever. When my dad was visiting a few weeks ago he wasnt here just to see me. My grandpa has been in bad shape the last 2 yrs or so. He falls down just about every week, has put himself in the hospital countless times, and he cannot really walk or do anything on his own. He fell about a month ago and was in the hospital and he was coming home the weekend my dad was here, who was helping out. Hearing my dad talk about what shape my grandpa was in made me really scared because I dont want to be that 60 years from now. I realize that when you get old its harder to do things and there are certain pitfalls, but I also see that things doing have to be the way they are for my grandpa. His years of smoking, poor eating habits, and being obese have taken its toll on him, and I know that could have easily been me years and years from now if I hadnt made the decision to change. I know I am still at risk for certain things and my future is not certain because of the choices I make now, but at least I know that I can change what Im doing now to ensure that I can be healthiest I can be when I am older. My fiance actually told me about an 80 year old man who still drag races in the NHRA I believe which I think is awesome. To be in that physical condition at an older age and not letting yourself be held back from what you love. Thats how I want to be and I really hope I am. Because I hate to think of what my life will be like if I were to end up like my grandpa.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Still going
Despite the sickness, stress, and busy weekend, I am down .8 from last week to 153.2! I can see 150 approaching and its very exciting. I cant believe that I spent a year trying to lose 10 pounds and here Ive lost 7 pounds in 2 months. I guess it goes to show just how much tracking your calories and working out really pays off. I still that sense of, will this be the last week? But just like it was in the beginning, every week I see results.
I am definitely having better body image. While I was certainly happy to be at 160 (because compared to 226, how could I not be?), but I still felt like I looked overweight. With all the exercise Ive been doing and the weight coming off, my clothes fit a lot better and I feel like things are more toned up overall. Im starting to see myself as just a regular person, rather than someone who was overweight. I hated how I felt that identified me as a person. I was reminded of this a few weeks ago when I was hanging out with some friends. It was a couples thing so my friend was there with her boyfriend who I hadnt see in almost a year. When he had met me 2.5 yrs prior to that, I was at my heaviest weight. While at this get together, he pulled me aside and said, you used to be really big - I notice that you have lost a lot of weight. While I appreciated that he could see the weight loss, it bothered me to think that was all he remembered of me, just another fat girl. Im still the same person, just a lot lighter. Its hard for me to be around people who have only known me as fat, because they think that this lighter person must be some new thing that I revel in. Sure I am so happy to be where I am at, but I wasnt always this way, and I dont believe that one you are fat, you are fat forever. Fat does not and never will define me. I happened to be fat for a while, now Im not. It happens. I dont want to see myself as that person, and I really dont want others to see me that way either. Inside, Ive always been this person and thats all that should matter.
In wedding news, we did find a florist last weekend so another thing checked off the list! We went to two and both were great and affordable, but one place gave me a better visual idea of what everything will look like, so we chose them. I will have a bouquet with deep orange calla lillies, orange asian lilies, orange roses, and green berries and filler. My bridesmaids (who are wearing chocolate brown and fern green by the way), will have orange asian lilies with a green bow. My fiance's boutonierre will be a deep orange calla lily, and the rest of the groomsman will have orange roses. Should look real nice for fall. Other than the limo service, we have booked all of our vendors, which is so wonderful because I am really tired of going out to visit vendors. Sure its fun in the beginning, but when you work 10-12 hr days and only get 2 days on the weekend, its not always fun to spend those 2 days driving all over the place. I will be so glad when its Oct. and I can just get married already!
I am definitely having better body image. While I was certainly happy to be at 160 (because compared to 226, how could I not be?), but I still felt like I looked overweight. With all the exercise Ive been doing and the weight coming off, my clothes fit a lot better and I feel like things are more toned up overall. Im starting to see myself as just a regular person, rather than someone who was overweight. I hated how I felt that identified me as a person. I was reminded of this a few weeks ago when I was hanging out with some friends. It was a couples thing so my friend was there with her boyfriend who I hadnt see in almost a year. When he had met me 2.5 yrs prior to that, I was at my heaviest weight. While at this get together, he pulled me aside and said, you used to be really big - I notice that you have lost a lot of weight. While I appreciated that he could see the weight loss, it bothered me to think that was all he remembered of me, just another fat girl. Im still the same person, just a lot lighter. Its hard for me to be around people who have only known me as fat, because they think that this lighter person must be some new thing that I revel in. Sure I am so happy to be where I am at, but I wasnt always this way, and I dont believe that one you are fat, you are fat forever. Fat does not and never will define me. I happened to be fat for a while, now Im not. It happens. I dont want to see myself as that person, and I really dont want others to see me that way either. Inside, Ive always been this person and thats all that should matter.
In wedding news, we did find a florist last weekend so another thing checked off the list! We went to two and both were great and affordable, but one place gave me a better visual idea of what everything will look like, so we chose them. I will have a bouquet with deep orange calla lillies, orange asian lilies, orange roses, and green berries and filler. My bridesmaids (who are wearing chocolate brown and fern green by the way), will have orange asian lilies with a green bow. My fiance's boutonierre will be a deep orange calla lily, and the rest of the groomsman will have orange roses. Should look real nice for fall. Other than the limo service, we have booked all of our vendors, which is so wonderful because I am really tired of going out to visit vendors. Sure its fun in the beginning, but when you work 10-12 hr days and only get 2 days on the weekend, its not always fun to spend those 2 days driving all over the place. I will be so glad when its Oct. and I can just get married already!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Not too bad
I am down .6 for the week which is actually really surprising. I thought for sure Id be up or even maintain, but I am sitting happy at 154.
It has been quite a week - I worked late (11 hrs) on Wednesday and missed my workout. I started feeling sick on Sunday which turned into the flu as well as a horrible ear infection. I cannot hear out my left ear at all. I feel so exhausted; I slept for 11 hrs straight on Sunday, yet woke up for my Valentines day dinner and felt like I had slept for 2 hrs. Then TOM is starting so I am more bloated than I have ever felt. Yet despite this, I still pulled out a loss, so I cannot complain.
It has been difficult to work out with the same intensity I usually do because I get out of breath so easily and fatigue much more quickly. I know that my body probably does need the rest so I am trying not to push it too hard. I guess its just the stress of work and the wedding all rolled into one.
Definitely staying in tonight to get some much needed rest since tomorrow we have appts to see 2 florists, and my dad is also in town so I will be spending much of Sunday out and about with him. All good stuff, just not stuff that leads to rest.
It has been quite a week - I worked late (11 hrs) on Wednesday and missed my workout. I started feeling sick on Sunday which turned into the flu as well as a horrible ear infection. I cannot hear out my left ear at all. I feel so exhausted; I slept for 11 hrs straight on Sunday, yet woke up for my Valentines day dinner and felt like I had slept for 2 hrs. Then TOM is starting so I am more bloated than I have ever felt. Yet despite this, I still pulled out a loss, so I cannot complain.
It has been difficult to work out with the same intensity I usually do because I get out of breath so easily and fatigue much more quickly. I know that my body probably does need the rest so I am trying not to push it too hard. I guess its just the stress of work and the wedding all rolled into one.
Definitely staying in tonight to get some much needed rest since tomorrow we have appts to see 2 florists, and my dad is also in town so I will be spending much of Sunday out and about with him. All good stuff, just not stuff that leads to rest.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Good job FDA
First of all, I am really happy that the FDA is trying to post nutritional info on the front of a package of food. Hopefully this will at least get some people's attention instead of just grabbing things off the shelf. More importantly though, I am so glad they are looking to actually post servings according to what people actually eat. I hate when you see that something is 100 calories, but then see that its actually like 2 nuts out of the entire package you can have. Doing this may also scare some people into really thinking about what they eat. Now if only they could post all the ingredients too, we would be all set! Words like "whole grain" or "natural" grace just about everything these days, but if you check out the ingredients, they are usually the minority in a list of unhealthy ingredients. Check out the story here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/06/business/06portion.html?adxnnl=1&partner=rss&emc=rss&adxnnlx=1265890288-xot63aBslESB8GKVRhb5pg
Secondly, I hit a new low today - 154.6! Thats a .8 loss since last week (well actually 2 weeks since I maintained last week). The weight loss has slowed down a tad, however Im glad its still moving along. Its been years since Ive weighed this and it feels great. I have also noticed that my pants are a lot bigger, and I am fitting in some jeans that were pretty tight the past year to the point that I rarely wore them. So that means Im losing some inches as well. FINALLY - thats all I have to say. Ive been waiting for this for a while, and I am so glad its happening. My wedding dress will be here in March too, so hopefully I will be around 150 which would be a 10 pound loss, and I could definitely maintain that until October when the wedding is happening.
Should be a relaxing weekend which is just what I need. We layed off 4 people yesterday at work so it was stressful, and the past month just about every weekend has been filled with things for the wedding. Thankfully last weekend was the last of the cake tasting since we chose our bakery for our wedding cake and it will be delicious! So this weekend should be almost spot on. There is valentines day and I will be going out to dinner, but Im sure I will do just fine.
Happy Valentines day!
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/06/business/06portion.html?adxnnl=1&partner=rss&emc=rss&adxnnlx=1265890288-xot63aBslESB8GKVRhb5pg
Secondly, I hit a new low today - 154.6! Thats a .8 loss since last week (well actually 2 weeks since I maintained last week). The weight loss has slowed down a tad, however Im glad its still moving along. Its been years since Ive weighed this and it feels great. I have also noticed that my pants are a lot bigger, and I am fitting in some jeans that were pretty tight the past year to the point that I rarely wore them. So that means Im losing some inches as well. FINALLY - thats all I have to say. Ive been waiting for this for a while, and I am so glad its happening. My wedding dress will be here in March too, so hopefully I will be around 150 which would be a 10 pound loss, and I could definitely maintain that until October when the wedding is happening.
Should be a relaxing weekend which is just what I need. We layed off 4 people yesterday at work so it was stressful, and the past month just about every weekend has been filled with things for the wedding. Thankfully last weekend was the last of the cake tasting since we chose our bakery for our wedding cake and it will be delicious! So this weekend should be almost spot on. There is valentines day and I will be going out to dinner, but Im sure I will do just fine.
Happy Valentines day!
Friday, February 5, 2010
More Cake
Happy to report that my weight is still the same - 155.2. Sure, a loss would be nice, but I was a little concerned after some of the food I had last weekend, and I do not feel well today (very bloated) so I thought for sure I would see a higher number.
Today was rough though. We had a superbowl party at work, so there was chili, dips, cheese and crackers, pigs in a blanket, cookies, brownies.....you get the picture. Come party time (which was also lunch time), I went into the kitchen to get my lunch and felt really tempted. I actually took my lunch and went back to my desk to eat it, then went and joined the other people in the room the party was in. That helped because I could concentrate on what I really wanted to eat, vs being tempted and eating something that wouldnt benefit me nutritionally, as well as the fact that by the time I went back to the room, I was full and had no desire to eat anything that was there. I think it was also smart to do as well since I always seem to get comments when I do choose to eat my healthy lunch vs the food they have and today I just didnt want to deal with it. But I feel good that I made the right choice, and I know the scale would not have said 155 had I eaten half of what I wanted to there.
Friday night out went fine - my plan to eat before hand helped, and I only had a few bites of some of the foods that were at the party. Unfortunately I did have a few too many beers, but it was a fun time out and I cant say that I regretted it.
Cake tasting went well last week, and I only had 3 small squares about the size of a square on a checkerboard of each type of cake. I had a small forkful of the frosting, and then a small forkful of the chocolate ganache filling. So it was definitely not hard to get an idea of what the cake tasted like without over doing it.
The xmas party we went to had a TON of food. It was at an italian restaurant that serves family style only, and I had no idea what we would be served. The appetizers were calamari, bruschetta, and salad. The salad was delicious, so I ate a lot of that knowing that if the entrees were not healthy, at least I was able to fill myself up. The entrees were chicken parmesean and pesto salmon. Both were breaded, so I knew right away that I made the right decision to fill up on salad. There was also some spaghetti on the side as well as some spinach filled shells, so I had some spagetti and half of a shell. I was actually full with just that. Dessert came out and it was tiramisu and cheesecake. I had a bite of the cheesecake but that was it. I didnt have much to drink either, just a glass of sangria. All in all, I think I did really well. So many people were complaining about how full they were, and it was nice that I enjoyed myself but didnt come away from it stuffed. My finace's bosses were telling people to eat more because there was so much food and while I felt bad that I probably was not eating my share, Id rather feel guilty for that than having eaten too much.
Well as the title of this post indicates, tomorrow I have another cake tasting so I am excited for that. Between that and the superbowl, this will likely be another weekend full of food. I have a superbowl party to go to on Sunday, but at least I know there should be some healthy food there. The host is a friend of mine from college, and he used to be very overweight as a child. He lost a lot of weight and works out and eats really healthy now, so he knows what its like to go to a party and worry about healthy foods. Thats actually a really nice feeling. But after last weekend, it really reinforces that you can go out, enjoy yourself, and not have to worry about the scale as long as you can do it in moderation.
Today was rough though. We had a superbowl party at work, so there was chili, dips, cheese and crackers, pigs in a blanket, cookies, brownies.....you get the picture. Come party time (which was also lunch time), I went into the kitchen to get my lunch and felt really tempted. I actually took my lunch and went back to my desk to eat it, then went and joined the other people in the room the party was in. That helped because I could concentrate on what I really wanted to eat, vs being tempted and eating something that wouldnt benefit me nutritionally, as well as the fact that by the time I went back to the room, I was full and had no desire to eat anything that was there. I think it was also smart to do as well since I always seem to get comments when I do choose to eat my healthy lunch vs the food they have and today I just didnt want to deal with it. But I feel good that I made the right choice, and I know the scale would not have said 155 had I eaten half of what I wanted to there.
Friday night out went fine - my plan to eat before hand helped, and I only had a few bites of some of the foods that were at the party. Unfortunately I did have a few too many beers, but it was a fun time out and I cant say that I regretted it.
Cake tasting went well last week, and I only had 3 small squares about the size of a square on a checkerboard of each type of cake. I had a small forkful of the frosting, and then a small forkful of the chocolate ganache filling. So it was definitely not hard to get an idea of what the cake tasted like without over doing it.
The xmas party we went to had a TON of food. It was at an italian restaurant that serves family style only, and I had no idea what we would be served. The appetizers were calamari, bruschetta, and salad. The salad was delicious, so I ate a lot of that knowing that if the entrees were not healthy, at least I was able to fill myself up. The entrees were chicken parmesean and pesto salmon. Both were breaded, so I knew right away that I made the right decision to fill up on salad. There was also some spaghetti on the side as well as some spinach filled shells, so I had some spagetti and half of a shell. I was actually full with just that. Dessert came out and it was tiramisu and cheesecake. I had a bite of the cheesecake but that was it. I didnt have much to drink either, just a glass of sangria. All in all, I think I did really well. So many people were complaining about how full they were, and it was nice that I enjoyed myself but didnt come away from it stuffed. My finace's bosses were telling people to eat more because there was so much food and while I felt bad that I probably was not eating my share, Id rather feel guilty for that than having eaten too much.
Well as the title of this post indicates, tomorrow I have another cake tasting so I am excited for that. Between that and the superbowl, this will likely be another weekend full of food. I have a superbowl party to go to on Sunday, but at least I know there should be some healthy food there. The host is a friend of mine from college, and he used to be very overweight as a child. He lost a lot of weight and works out and eats really healthy now, so he knows what its like to go to a party and worry about healthy foods. Thats actually a really nice feeling. But after last weekend, it really reinforces that you can go out, enjoy yourself, and not have to worry about the scale as long as you can do it in moderation.
Friday, January 29, 2010
A new low
Hooray! I hit a new low today - 155.2. I have not weighed 155 since college. I am really really happy right now, and a bit shocked to be honest. I was sure with TOM that I would show a gain, but instead I get a 1.8 pound loss.
I feel great, and its not just because the scale is reflecting my hard work. I just feel great with how everything is working out. I am eating some new foods, eating more often, working out 5 days a week, and Ive been noticing some changes in my body from working out so much. Someone at work the other day asked if I was losing weight again, so obviously others were noticing something I wasnt yet. I thought maybe my jeans were getting looser because they were getting stretched out, but the reality is, I am changing and its been so long that I just assumed it was something else.
This is going to be one of those weekends though where its going to be tough to stay on track. Tonight I am going to a coworkers house who is having a small couples get together, and everyone is bringing a snack. I of course am bringing something healthy, but I will likely be the only one. I am going to eat a small dinner before I go so that I dont eat snacks all night, but I know I will have some and a few drinks, and its hard to accept that after my weigh in. But at the same time, I cant always be afraid to enjoy myself either. I am just torn back and forth. Then tomorrow is a cake tasting where, I will be in fact tasting cake. Of course it is necessary to eat because I dont want my wedding cake to taste bad and its not like I am eating giant slices of cake, but then to make matters worse, it is my fiance's office xmas party tomorrow at an italian place so again, more food that is likely to not be healthy and of course, alcohol. I know I always make the best choices I can and this time is no different. That isnt what is hard. Whats hard is that I dotn want to move two steps forward torwards the weight I want, to just move backwards again because I had a weekend where I was in situations where I was not eating the best food for me or what I would want to eat. Thats life I guess right?
I feel great, and its not just because the scale is reflecting my hard work. I just feel great with how everything is working out. I am eating some new foods, eating more often, working out 5 days a week, and Ive been noticing some changes in my body from working out so much. Someone at work the other day asked if I was losing weight again, so obviously others were noticing something I wasnt yet. I thought maybe my jeans were getting looser because they were getting stretched out, but the reality is, I am changing and its been so long that I just assumed it was something else.
This is going to be one of those weekends though where its going to be tough to stay on track. Tonight I am going to a coworkers house who is having a small couples get together, and everyone is bringing a snack. I of course am bringing something healthy, but I will likely be the only one. I am going to eat a small dinner before I go so that I dont eat snacks all night, but I know I will have some and a few drinks, and its hard to accept that after my weigh in. But at the same time, I cant always be afraid to enjoy myself either. I am just torn back and forth. Then tomorrow is a cake tasting where, I will be in fact tasting cake. Of course it is necessary to eat because I dont want my wedding cake to taste bad and its not like I am eating giant slices of cake, but then to make matters worse, it is my fiance's office xmas party tomorrow at an italian place so again, more food that is likely to not be healthy and of course, alcohol. I know I always make the best choices I can and this time is no different. That isnt what is hard. Whats hard is that I dotn want to move two steps forward torwards the weight I want, to just move backwards again because I had a weekend where I was in situations where I was not eating the best food for me or what I would want to eat. Thats life I guess right?
Friday, January 8, 2010
New Year
It is 2010! Happy New Year to everyone out there. Hopefully everyone has gotten the new year off to a great start. For some, this is just the beginning and I hope that if you are just starting out, you contine your healthy changes throughout the entire year. For others, we are just continuing our journey, and it does feel good that we already have plans in place and arent just jumping on the bandwagon because we ate too much over xmas and now feel pressured because of all the ads to do something.
I have started off the year well - Im down to 157 which I have not weighed since August. How is that for a good start huh!? I am pretty pleased with myself. Since my "experiment" where I tracked what I was eating in spark people, I made adjustments so that I was eating in the recommended range for calories, protein, fat, and carbs. I wasnt doing too bad before, but many days I was eating too few or too many calories, and I definitely did not get enough protein. This past week I have really focused on making sure I was getting enough of everything, and while I still need to work on those carbs (yes for some reason I have a hard time eating enough carbs), I guess my changes have been positive as I have finally seen some movement on the scale. I have also kept up with 5 workouts per week, alternating both of my Jillian workouts (trouble zones and metabolism boost). I feel pretty great actually. I know things will get crazy with work soon enough, but in the meantime, I am enjoying what Im doing and glad that I am finally seeing results. I feel optimistic and hopeful again that I might actually get to the goal I want this year (150), and least hopefully by the wedding. Last year I spent way too long in the rut I was in, just getting angry that I wasnt going anywhere. I wish i would have made an effort to get to the cause then, but sometimes life just gets in the way and all you can do is stick with what you know and at least it helps you maintain. 2010 is all about changes for me in just about every way, and Im glad I have started the year of just where I want to be at.
Yes we are drunk and wearing silly hats :)
Monday, December 21, 2009
The experiment - week 1 results
I seem to have some interesting results from my experiment. As I mentioned last week, I was going to eat as I normally do and track everything in spark people. I was suspicious that I was eating either too little or too much.
Happily I found out that I am eating slightly under but not that much under what is recommended (1400 calories). Not that eating too little is a good thing, but I guess its better than finding out you are eating too much. I also found out that I dont always eat enough protein, and I often do not eat enough carbs either. So that is all really good information to have and I plan to make some changes with what im eating to get more of both in my diet.
I also found that the creamer I use in my coffee just on weekends (use the office creamer while at work) is really high in calories and contributes a lot more than I was thinking it was, even with just 4 servings. So I cut back on that big time. I liked that I was able to see that and make changes accordingly.
I actually went from 159 to 157.6 last week which was pretty awesome, and then I had a sneaking suspicion that I have fallen victim to what many people do - they stop measuring and weighing their food, and they are actually eating more of it than they realize. I think the simple fact that I started doing that again really helped and my weight definitely reflected that. I would say that this was enough to get me on a roll again, but today I was back up to 159. I was disapointed by that as I have been diligently weighing and measuring everything thinking that was the culprit, but apparently not. Not that I plan on stopping, but I was hoping that was the culprit. I guess it could still be and I just am bloated today from TOM approaching or something else.
In any case, I feel a lot more knowledgeable than I was before about what im eating, and Im also glad to see that what I am eating is for the most part, the right thing. At least when I see that Im getting enough fat for example, I know that its the right kind of fat. Those were the mistakes I used to make a long time ago when I struggled to lose weight. I thought, as long as I eat X calories, X fat, X carbs, I will be fine. And I would fill those numbers with whatever I wanted and they were not healthy choices. Now I am eating the right foods and staying within the right ranges, and that feels good.
In the exercise department, I feel like I am kicking ass. I completed the Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred which feels amazing. I remember on Day 1, I struggled to get through it as it is a pretty good workout for a 25 min. workout. Now I have much better endurance and strength, and I moved on to her other 2 dvds which are Boosting Metabolism and Trouble Spots. Both are more difficult than the 30 day shred and I feel like that better prepared me to take on these beasts. I am sore all over from 2 days of both, but its a good feeling. I also got an early xmas present which was the Jillian Michaels Fitness Ultimatum 2010 for the Wi, and it is pretty awesome too. Not quite as good as some of the moves in the dvds using weights, but I did a ciruit on the game and it worked me out pretty good. I highly recommend it as I had heard negative things about the 2009 game, but much better things about this 2010 game and I have to agree.
Now I just need to hope all this hard work pays off and I start to see the changes that i want. If only it wasnt Christmas and facing all sorts of temptations over the next week while I am at home in PA. I always do the best I can and that will have to do while I am gone. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!
Happily I found out that I am eating slightly under but not that much under what is recommended (1400 calories). Not that eating too little is a good thing, but I guess its better than finding out you are eating too much. I also found out that I dont always eat enough protein, and I often do not eat enough carbs either. So that is all really good information to have and I plan to make some changes with what im eating to get more of both in my diet.
I also found that the creamer I use in my coffee just on weekends (use the office creamer while at work) is really high in calories and contributes a lot more than I was thinking it was, even with just 4 servings. So I cut back on that big time. I liked that I was able to see that and make changes accordingly.
I actually went from 159 to 157.6 last week which was pretty awesome, and then I had a sneaking suspicion that I have fallen victim to what many people do - they stop measuring and weighing their food, and they are actually eating more of it than they realize. I think the simple fact that I started doing that again really helped and my weight definitely reflected that. I would say that this was enough to get me on a roll again, but today I was back up to 159. I was disapointed by that as I have been diligently weighing and measuring everything thinking that was the culprit, but apparently not. Not that I plan on stopping, but I was hoping that was the culprit. I guess it could still be and I just am bloated today from TOM approaching or something else.
In any case, I feel a lot more knowledgeable than I was before about what im eating, and Im also glad to see that what I am eating is for the most part, the right thing. At least when I see that Im getting enough fat for example, I know that its the right kind of fat. Those were the mistakes I used to make a long time ago when I struggled to lose weight. I thought, as long as I eat X calories, X fat, X carbs, I will be fine. And I would fill those numbers with whatever I wanted and they were not healthy choices. Now I am eating the right foods and staying within the right ranges, and that feels good.
In the exercise department, I feel like I am kicking ass. I completed the Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred which feels amazing. I remember on Day 1, I struggled to get through it as it is a pretty good workout for a 25 min. workout. Now I have much better endurance and strength, and I moved on to her other 2 dvds which are Boosting Metabolism and Trouble Spots. Both are more difficult than the 30 day shred and I feel like that better prepared me to take on these beasts. I am sore all over from 2 days of both, but its a good feeling. I also got an early xmas present which was the Jillian Michaels Fitness Ultimatum 2010 for the Wi, and it is pretty awesome too. Not quite as good as some of the moves in the dvds using weights, but I did a ciruit on the game and it worked me out pretty good. I highly recommend it as I had heard negative things about the 2009 game, but much better things about this 2010 game and I have to agree.
Now I just need to hope all this hard work pays off and I start to see the changes that i want. If only it wasnt Christmas and facing all sorts of temptations over the next week while I am at home in PA. I always do the best I can and that will have to do while I am gone. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Returning to Normal
Things in my life are returning to a semi-normal state. The large project I was working on the last several months ended, and now I dont have to work a 12 hour day every day which feels great! Unfortunately layoffs are still looming, so its hard to enjoy having less work because I am afraid it makes me look like I am not needed, so I have to try and stay busy and work later than Id want just so Im not a target. The stress of that alone is horrible, but at least for now, I still have a job.
Exercise is returning again in frequency too. I started the Jillian Micheals 30 day Shred which I am loving and feel that it gives a pretty good quick workout. I am glad that I have been keeping up with exercise as mcuh as I could over the last few months and at least my weight didnt go to all hell. I am on the higher end of the spectrum than Id want to be, mostly ranging from 158-160, but at least I can say that I maintained throughout all these months. It would have been easy to turn to food to cope with everything going on, but I was able to stick to healthy foods and exercise when it was possible. I cant really dwell on what I might weigh if I had been able to be diligent the last few months, but I was barely getting by emotionally and physically some days, so Im proud of what I was able to do. I feel like I went through some horrible battle and at least I came out alive. Too bad I have a wedding dress arriving in a few months and I wanted a thinner body ready for that, but hopefully this 30 day shred will help with that. Im surprised that doing that for the last 3 weeks has not caused me to drop any weigh. While I dont play into claims much, the case of the dvd does indicate that it can lead to up to a 20 pound weight loss. While I wouldnt expect 20 pounds (or really even want that), it would be nice to see SOME results. I could try and convince myself I am gaining muscle, but I dont really believe that is true. So you can see, Im still the clueless frustrated girl I always was!
Im sorry that I havent posted much the last few months. Im afraid it caused me to lose a lot of readers and its really too bad because I really enjoy reading the comments of my regular readers and the support they give. Ive tried to keep up with my google reader as much as possible and hopefully now I can get back into reading and posting more often.
Exercise is returning again in frequency too. I started the Jillian Micheals 30 day Shred which I am loving and feel that it gives a pretty good quick workout. I am glad that I have been keeping up with exercise as mcuh as I could over the last few months and at least my weight didnt go to all hell. I am on the higher end of the spectrum than Id want to be, mostly ranging from 158-160, but at least I can say that I maintained throughout all these months. It would have been easy to turn to food to cope with everything going on, but I was able to stick to healthy foods and exercise when it was possible. I cant really dwell on what I might weigh if I had been able to be diligent the last few months, but I was barely getting by emotionally and physically some days, so Im proud of what I was able to do. I feel like I went through some horrible battle and at least I came out alive. Too bad I have a wedding dress arriving in a few months and I wanted a thinner body ready for that, but hopefully this 30 day shred will help with that. Im surprised that doing that for the last 3 weeks has not caused me to drop any weigh. While I dont play into claims much, the case of the dvd does indicate that it can lead to up to a 20 pound weight loss. While I wouldnt expect 20 pounds (or really even want that), it would be nice to see SOME results. I could try and convince myself I am gaining muscle, but I dont really believe that is true. So you can see, Im still the clueless frustrated girl I always was!
Im sorry that I havent posted much the last few months. Im afraid it caused me to lose a lot of readers and its really too bad because I really enjoy reading the comments of my regular readers and the support they give. Ive tried to keep up with my google reader as much as possible and hopefully now I can get back into reading and posting more often.
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