Right way!

My positive thinking of being able to write about going the right way on the scale paid off. I just weighed in at a new low - 146.4! I am definitely happy that this week I didnt see a gain, and I am back down further away from 150.

I was a little nervous after last weekend since I went out to dinner with my fiance and his family and the restaurant that was selected had absolutely nothing that was healthy. There was chicken, but it was either fried or covered in cheese. Fish, again breaded or covered in some type of sauce that was unhealthy. I selected the healthiest dish I could find, filled up on salad, and I am glad that one meal didnt screw things up on the scale and I can feel decent about the choice I basically was forced to make. It happens to us all, we are invited out to eat and struggle to make choices and sometimes you can and sometimes you cant. It wasnt the first time Ive been in the position and I know it wont be the last and Im glad that I can just move on from it and that the scale doesnt punish me.

Ive been wanting to write about the Losing it with Jillian show since I have been reading mixed thoughts about it on different blogs. Ive watched the show, and while it isnt biggest loser and is definitely a way to promote her and her products, I think she is getting a lot of crap because she is so hard on people when I think thats exactly what they need. Now I may be biased because I like her and have all her dvds, but for the most part, I think there are 2 kinds of people. People who when pushed, can break through whatever block they have and move on or those who just give up. I realize this because as time has gone on, Ive realized that I am the kind of person who likes a challenge and so I really respect where she comes from. For example, my mom also has her 30 day shred that I myself have as well. The first few times I did that dvd, it was hard and I was tempted to give up. But I also realized that if I kept doing it, every time it would get a little easier. Thats exactly what happened and by the end of the 30 days, I was doing that dvd like it was my job and was so proud that I could keep up. Now my mom on the other hand gave up after 2 tries and had no desire to push herself to achieve more. I think a lot of times people do not realize what they are capable of, and sometimes if all it takes is a woman screaming in your face to push you to a point where you finally realize you can do it, then its worth it. Not everyone has that drive. Not everyone feels the way that i do - that you can work at something little by little instead of being intimidated. I am sure that is why losing weight and becoming healthier is harder for some than others. Im not saying it wasnt hard for me, but I had that drive and didnt let bumps in the road or others deter me. Its too bad not everyone is like that, but I do appreciate what Jillian is doing, whether it seems harsh or not, I get where she is coming from. Thats what I take away from the show anyways. Not the fluff or the money or the tears. That you can push yourself and achieve things you never realized you could if you dont give up.

Midweek Weighin

Down a measly .2 but at least its going down. I hate TOM sometimes because you work hard and you want to see those results and it just screws everything up. I related to something that Tara said on the Biggest Loser last night, that she likes weighing in because when she sees a loss, she feels like she has accomplished something. That makes a lot of sense because Ive been told that I weigh myself too often or focus too much on the scale and while that is true, its not always because I want to lose weight or lose weight faster. Its because when I do lose, I feel that I have accomplished something and that my hard work has paid off.

Speaking of BL, the finale was great. It was hard because I thought all 3 were deserving, but I was rooting for Tara just a little bit more simply because I relate to her the most. I think I relate to the drive that she has because I feel that I have that drive as well. Some people struggle with weight loss, and while I have struggled, somehow i just keep going because I know that I have to and because I want it. I think her stats throughout the season (winning almost every challenge, never being below the yellow line) show that she has tremendous drive and willpower and that got her further than gameplay ever did. All in all, I really enjoyed this season. Last season I was getting so tired of the people and the game play, and this season renewed my interest again and really inspired me. I think the episode where they ran the marathon was possibly the best BL episode ever. I hope the continue to make more seasons with these types of characters rather than those who are in it for a quick weight loss fix and some money.

Friday I will be going out to lunch for a coworkers birthday and I have no idea where we are going. That is making it hard for me to plan what Ill be eating. Im certain based upon some of my previous experiences that I can find something, but Im still slightly nervous and sure that the scale will be up regardless. Ill just do the best that I can and even if the scale is up, at least Ill know why.

Another successful lunch

I guess I was able to have another successful lunch out yesterday because I am down .4 today. Sure I was hoping for more, but 157 isnt so bad at all.

So yesterday I got a salad with dressing on the side (which I actually never used), and it was great! It had baby greens, pears, almonds, goat cheese, dried cranberries, and chicken. It was of course an obscene helping and I only had about a 1/3rd of what was there, but it was delicious and full of all my favorite healthy things. I got a good serving of veggies, fruits, protein, dairy, and fat. AND I didnt even eat the breadstick either.

I think the more I eat out, the more confident I feel that I can make healthy choices, enjoy them, and lose weight. Previously I used to go to this place and get a half pizza and half salad. The salad would have had bacon and other unhealthy things in it. The salad I ended up getting was phenomenal and if I had never decided to become a healthier person, I probably would have missed out on something so delicious.

I also wanted to just post quickly to say that I thought Biggest Loser was great last night. I was so sad that Filipe went home instead of the finals, but I do think that a lot of contestants this season have really been able to change and keep those changes and incorporate them into their lives when they are back home. It has seemed less game (except Ron), and more actual changes. Perhaps thats why I have enjoyed this season more than some others - I really feel that a lot of the contestants have valued this experience more than just losing weight and have a full awareness that when they go home, it will be tough. Great epsiode though, and I liked when they showed them what they looked like before and then after. What differences! Sometimes you need to see that to really know how far you have come. I think the majority of them dont need to lose any more weight because they look so great already.

Hmm

My weighin did not go as expected. Since Sunday, I have been 100% complete totally on track with everything. My eating has been great, my water on target, and Ive exercised all by yesterday for the week so far. But I got on the scale and saw 160.4 - that is only a .2 loss from Monday.

Would someone please explain to me how it is that I can eat like shit for a week and weigh in at 160.6, and eat like a saint and weigh in at 160.4? I know that if someone had the answer, they would be rich and in the best of health. But its frustrating. I can accept a gain when I know I havent been on plan. But its hard to accept when Im doing my very best and have been under 160 for several months now. How did I get stuck here again? Trying not to panic but its hard and disapointing.

In positive news, there have been some great weightloss shows on tv this week. Biggest Loser started up again and I am hoping I get more into this season than the last. This is definitely the heaviest group of people and it will be good to watch them go far. I really enjoyed DietTribe actually. I think I liked it because it was more "real world". Sure, not everyone has a personal trainer and therapist, but at least these women werent contained to a ranch where they only had time to work out and the food was controlled. I felt it was more of a realistic show than Biggest Loser can sometimes be, and it is less than a game. One thing I was upset with BL last night was that here it is the first week, everyone is so excited to lose weight, and they couldnt even fully enjoy it because they were so concerned with going home. Sure the show is a game, but people shouldnt be crying when they lost 20 pounds just because its not "good enough" and means they are going home. So DietTribe was a fresher show for me and I could relate a lot of what all of the girls said at times or felt. All I can say is, I need all the motivation I can get when I have a day like today on the scale.

Attitude

Up again, another .2. This time, I really have no clue. I thought for sure I would at least be back down to 159.4, but apparently not. These are the times I hate...being up and not knowing why. I have a feeling my body is going to fight me on these next 9 pounds.

I have been reading a lot of entries about Attitude lately, and I think this is a perfect time for me to express how much I feel that Attitude is important.

When I first started with LA Weight loss last August, I had so many fears. I often thought, everything else has failed me, why wouldnt this? I would lose and lose, and then think, ok this will come to an end and I will stall and that will be it. Or I would gain and think, I will never lose again!

I really worked to shut up those voices in my head. In the past, I listened and usually ended up sabatoging myself. I believed I was a failure, and so I was. All the other "diets" I tried didnt fail me, I did. I did not believe in myself. This time around, a positive attitude has really meant the difference between failing and succeeding. When I heard a voice telling me that I wouldnt be able to get to goal, I just focused on what I was doing and getting through that day. And that day turned into the next and so on, and slowly but surely, I wasnt failing. I proved that little voice wrong.

The turning points that really proved that attitude is everything are when I hit plateaus. Every dieters worst nightmare. And sure, I hit them. And anyone who read my blog knows that boy did I BITCH. But thats ok, I didnt give up. Because I really felt that I could get past where I was and keep on moving. And sure enough I did. Rather than admit defeat and think, thats it! I dont have anymore weight to lose!, I just put faith in myself that I could do it.

That is really the key to me..a positive attitude and faith in oneself. You have to really believe that you can become healthy. You have to envision it, and know that you are the one responsible for making it happen. Its amazing how we believe in ourselves in other areas of our lives, but not always when it comes to our bodies. Sure some days I am baffled by my body and feel disconnected from it...like today. I dont know why it does what it does, but thats just how it is. But I find the faith in myself and turn a negative thought into a positive...and I feel the connection again and know that it isnt working against me. Its usually trying to tell me something and I have to listen. So I do, and I find the way.

Weight Loss Champions

Lately I have gotten a lot of positive comments about my willpower. I certainly think that is a big reason why I have been able to succeed as I have been, and why I have been able to change my life around from what it was (eating whatever I wanted in huge portions), to watching what I eat and making healthy choices. Recently I found an article on Spark People (great site if you need resources and a way to look at your daily food intake and exercise www.sparkpeople.com). It kind of outlines I think a lot of what this journey has been so far for me. This article describes me very well I think and also outlines an interesting distinction between those who can maintain their weight loss, and those that do not.

Weight-Loss Champions:

The secret to losing and keeping off unwanted weight is as much a psychological challenge as a physical one.

By: Carlin Flora

Practically anyone can lose weight. But those who keep it off are a rare species. Theirs is not an entirely mysterious phenomenon—they stay slim by maintaining the behaviors that got them there. They eat healthier foods, decrease portion sizes and exercise. But how, exactly, do they keep it up? The answer suggests a psychological overhaul as much as a physical one.

Diane Berry, a nurse practitioner and postdoctoral fellow at the Yale School of Nursing, conducted in-depth interviews with true weight-loss champions: 18 women who had lost at least 15 pounds and up to 144 pounds, and all had kept it off for an average of seven years. "Eighty-five to ninety percent of people regain any weight they've lost within 3-5 years," Berry says, "so these were the real outliers." Except for one, the women were involved in either a Weight Watchers or TOPS program.

Common patterns jumped out from the women's success stories. Each tale began with a fragile character: Before losing weight, she was self-conscious, vulnerable and unaware of events that contributed to the weight gain.

She crossed over into another pattern when she recognized her problem—often after receiving a nasty comment or having to buy a dress in the next larger size—and decided to change. And once she pledged to tackle her weight, her mood shifted. She suddenly had more energy, a fresh outlook.

In the next pattern, the women actively engaged in behavior changes. And in the throes of the final phases, they incorporated these new behaviors until they became second nature. They leaned on a support system (most often family members or fellow weight-loss program participants) to reinforce their behavioral changes, and they consistently monitored themselves, by stepping on a scale at least once a week, for example.

They at last dispensed with popular notions of a quick fix. "The women recognized that this is something they will have to work at for the rest of their lives," Berry says. One 82-year-old woman who lost over a hundred pounds when she was in her 60s told Berry: "I'm like an alcoholic. I am addicted to food. I wake up every morning and have to be mindful of what I eat everyday."

Most telling was that the women did not flow automatically from one stage to the next. Each one slipped backwards at one time or another, caught her footing and then hoisted herself back up. These women had not only altered their appearance and improved their health—they became different people. They experienced increased confidence and self-esteem and, finally, felt a sense of control over their lives.

Some reported they were more comfortable speaking out and being heard. Others were no longer emotionally responsive to others in a self-deprecating way. Many felt happier than they had been in years.

Berry also interviewed two women who were not able to keep off weight they lost, for comparison's sake. "They were aware of portion control and the importance of exercise but couldn't sustain the changes," she reports. "I truly believe their life was in crisis. Everybody lives with a certain amount of crisis. But they didn't have support or validation, or ability to work with other women. And neither woman monitored herself regularly." Which came first for the successful dieters—the weight loss or the sense of efficacy and worth? "Self esteem comes with pulling the whole package together, when everything starts clicking. They're comfortable with food, and the initial weight loss makes them feel better physically. It's a reinforcing cycle," Berry says.

But she tells her patients that this is a complicated process, where people make a lot of mistakes. "Nothing is black and white. It's a gray level—it's muddling through."

Maximize Your Mind

Its kind of interesting that after the post I wrote below, I found an article in Marie Claire from last month that just reiterated what I was describing. I thought I would post the part that spoke to me here:

Maximize Your Mind:

1. Its your choice, so make it a great one: The key to getting the body you want is recognizing that everything in life is a choice. While some choices are made unconsciously, the only way to get what you dream of is to master the art of conscious choice-making. By deliberately choosing every step you take, you will feel more confident, excited, and focused on the discipline you need to achieve your goals. It comes to 2 simple but critical questions
What are the consequences of the choice I am making?
Will this choice bring me closer to my goals?

2. Know that there will never be a stress-free time in your life: So you need to stop using stress as an excuse for not moving toward your goals.

3. Practice Pragmatic Moderation: Make health decisions you can live with forever. That means finding a middle ground between self-denial and self-indulgence - and having an occasional piece of cake.

4. Let go of the Past: It doesnt matter what kids called you in high school or what nasty thing someone said to you last week - that is no longer relevant. Move forward from here on out.

What I Love About Me

Well I think just about everyone I read has done this, but I figured it was time I do it as well. I think the list is amazing and its about time I tell myself something positive. So here goes!

1. What do you absolutely love about your body? I love the fact that my body is changing. That I have been able to make it change through hard work. Specifically, I love my hair, my eyes, and my skin.

2. When did you surprise yourself with your physical strength? I think the first time I was ever surprised was a few summers ago when I visited my parents in PA. We decided to do a bike ride in one of the state parks. My sister also went along (who has an eating disorder). We did the bike ride, which was one of the hilliest rides I have ever done! PA is full of hills anyways but this was intense. We did about 6 miles that day. However, it didnt even phase me. I loved pumping my legs up and down these hills in the most beautiful scenery I had ever seen. Then to feel the accomplishment of what I had done, and then to see my sister struggling a mile behind us. It made me realize how you can be overweight and healthy! Not completely underweight and struggling for breath and barely avoiding a heart attack.

3. When were you braver than you ever thought you could be? I was brave when I went out on my own at 22. My parents were leaving for PA and I had 2 weeks to find a place to live, a car, and a job. Somehow I made it work, but I was completely scared! I was also brave when I decided to go to grad school. I had no idea if I could make it through, but I took a chance, and now I will never regret my decision.

4. When did your self-control blow you away? Honestly, my self control blows me away all the time. Between cookies and brownies at work, to parties at friends/relatives' houses, I have found that I can enjoy myself and not eat. The biggest example of this was when I went to a jewelry party a few months back and sat right NEXT to the table containing all of this delicious food (and not a healthy thing on there). I was able to sit there and not have a bite of anything.

5. What is your proudest moment ever? My proudest moment ever was graduating with my Master's degree. I knew that i had become part of a "select" number of people who go on after college to attain that degree. I had pushed myself and had succeded.

6. When was the last time you felt absolutely beautiful? I felt absolutely physically beautiful on New Years Eve. While I wasnt really all that dressed up, i felt great about myself and how I looked. And honestly, before I even started trying to lose weight, the last time I would have told you I looked beautiful was a looong time ago. The last time I have felt beautiful inside was when I helped someone at work who was on a deadline and really needed my help and expertise (despite having my own work to do)! She came by my desk and wrote me a thank you note and it made me feel really great that no only could I help someone who needed it, but that they appreciated the gesture as well.

7. Why do you deserve to meet your goals? Because I have worked hard! God I have worked hard for this. No matter what the situation or what the scale has said, I have just kept on going, and pushing forward. I was able to completely change my life from what it was to something healthy. Also, because for so long, I put others before myself. Eventually I neglected to take care of myself and its about time that I start thinking about myself and putting myself first!

New Scale

Well I did just as I wrote...went out a purchased a new scale (thanks MB, I got the one you linked me too!). Its a Tanita which, from what I have gathered, is about the best. It also measures body fat as well as body water % which is really interesting. Only put me out about 40 bucks at Bed Bath and Beyond, and I also got 20% off because some nice woman handed me her extra coupon. I thought that was really nice, and a good sign this was the scale that was meant to be. Kindness in people is a wonderful thing. It actually made me a lot happier in return.

So I took the scale in and got on LAWL's scale first, said 180.2. Got on the Tanita, and it says 180.2!! It seems to be pretty accurate. I will take Scale Junkies advice and make sure its exactly on the tile and not on the grout. Im also glad that the scale I bought yesterday was wrong, and I did lose weight this week (even if its not a lot). Right now I am 44% water..I better get that up! now if you would like a good laugh, there is a function that tells you what health range you are classified as. Well here is what mine is called...."Overfat". Not overweight as I would maybe prefer to be classified..nope. OVERFAT. lol. that gave me a good laugh.

I almost started crying at the center as I was saying goodbye to Danielle. While the center is still open for another week, she said they may not even stay open as they have no products left to sell and most customers are coming in to get things and then leave. So I may not see her again and that was really sad. Regardless of how I feel now about LAWL, it did help me to lose weight and I am forever thankful for that.

At this point, I do have faith that I can do this. At least I will try. I guess that is all I can really say at this point. That I have come this far and I am not giving up.

To inspire me to never go back, I am taking a pic (a bad one because Im doing it) as I am now at 180.4, the cusp of 179 (which I have wanted to get to all week). I dont ever want to go over 180 again. I cannot go back.

At 226 pounds in 2004


At 180 pounds in 2007



I will never go back to the "before".

Tis the season for sabotaging

The Tales from the Scales post today is fantastic. It talks a lot about the holiday season and how things can get out of control. But the best thing you can do for yourself is to eat right and healthy, and treat this like any other day of the year and make it the best day that you can.

This time of the year is really hard for people who are dieting, and I really was thinking about it. Thinking, why do people fall off track? why is it so easy? Every year I have fallen victim to falling off track, and come new years, I look at the pictures of myself and think, god I need to lose weight. I hate that time of the year every year and yet I continued to make it a habit to eat my heart out all thanksgiving/xmas season and then hate myself by new years.

The very nature of xmas seems to have turned into EXCESS. people eat, drink, spend money, buy presents, run around like crazy, etc. and I think the very idea of xmas is lost in all of that. whether you are religious or not, it doesnt seem to me that xmas should be about any of those things. And trust me, I am guilty of it too. I was one of those crazy people trying to hunt down a Wii for my boyfriend (with no luck).

I think one reason that people fall off track is that as soon as Thanksgiving hits, everyone is so consumed with the "holiday pounds". You hear it all around, how to still lose weight this season, how to eat healthy, etc. I think people believe they will fail before they even try. All you hear is how people are going to gain weight and how everyones resolution is to lose weight. Its almost like its accepted to gain weight, its accepted to overeat. I will be the first to admit that there are temptations all around during the holiday season. Every day this week someone has made xmas cookies. and I look at them all day. But when you really think about it, there are temptations every day. If you can get through every other day of the year, why cant you get through one more?

To me, I have worked really hard since August this year to lose weight. I have come so far and the last thing I want to do is gain any weight back that I have fought hard to lose. Im not saying Im perfect or that I know everything, but I can speak for myself and I know that so far this season, I really havent found it hard to resist any extra temptation. Because to me, its just no longer worth it. Sure a cookie tastes fantastic, but it doesnt make me feel as great as when I went into the Gap and bought size 16 jeans and a "L" shirt.

So that is my present to myself this year. To maintain my healthy eating. Sure I will probably eat some things that I shouldnt and that arent the healthiest. Sure I will probably overeat at times. But the reality is, this is no different than the rest of the year. There are always parties, special dinners, suprise visits from family, etc. that will throw things your way. If you can work through them and stick to the way that you want to eat and live, then I think anything is possible. I am taking this holiday season on and Im going to beat it. Because really, its no different than anything else I have faced. At this point, I have already gone through some hard times enough to know that its just not worth it to fall off track. Plus, the fact that I dont eat packaged or any type of junk food also helps that I really have cured my "sugar addiction". I dont really desire those kinds of food anymore and that is why this has been a lot easier for me. I think if you really rid your body of those processed foods, it is so much easier to overcome all of these sweets and food this holiday season.

While for some, this is a lot easier said than done and I get that. Its not that simple. I think that as long as you do the best that you can do, that is all that matters. You dont HAVE to overeat, indulge, gain weight this holiday season. Regardless of the holiday gain almost becoming accepted and expected by many people, you can be the exception and then feel great about yourself on through the new year while everyone else is still losing that "holiday weight".

If you really strip down xmas and forget about the food and drinks, and money and gifts, and just enjoy it as a time of year to enjoy friends and family, and give, then I think people are better able to focus on what it really is about rather than just food.

What I like About Myself

I think we often focus so much on what is wrong with ourselves. Token Fat Girl posted an entry where she talks about what she liked about herself. This inspired me because I think lately, I need to tell myself something positive. So self, this is what I like about you:

1. You have great hair! A lot of people are jealous of your shampoo commerical worthy hair. Its long, thick, and curly (although it does take a loooong time to blowdry).
2. You are smart. You acheived honors in college, put yourself through grad school, and you are appreciate for this knowledge.
3. Along with this, you are so very skilled in writing and grammar. Yes, on this blog you often write in a stream of consciousness and people wouldnt know it, but others come to you for help when writing proposals and papers because you understand the power of words.
4. You are independent. You moved out on your own at 21. You became completely financially independent at 23. You live in your own apartment, just bought a new car. You put yourself through grad school (with yes, some help from the good old government).
5. You allow yourself to love and be loved. You have been in a relationship with someone for 8 years!
6. You are forgiving.
7. You have your own style. You dont wear whatever everyone else is, you wear what you like, which is usually pretty fashion forward.
8. Your skin. You have strangers that come up to you and tell you how beautiful your skin is. And you smile (because you do absolutely nothing other than use soap and water to make it that way).
9. You have absolutely perfect white teeth. Yes, you went through a lot to get them that way, but they are beautiful!
10. You are driven. Whatever you put your mind to, you do it. You got through grad school, you got through a hard financial time, you have gotten through an 8 yr relationship, you are battling your weight and winning. Slowly, but you are winning.

Jim

Jim, who got kicked off this week on Biggest Loser, looks fantastic! He looked like a completely diferent person. I wasnt a huge fan of his, but I am glad he was successful. It was nice to see how he was teaching his family how to eat, especially his children. He is a good role model for a father and definitely an inspiration to me as someone who lost 123 pounds!!! how insane is that!?!

Looks are Deceiving

I met a new counselor today at my center. Her name was Danielle. At first I saw her and thought, oh no, not another pretty skinny counselor to have to show my food diary to, to have to get on the scale in front of.

Most of the counselors there are doing the plan themselves and are overweight or slightly heavy. I feel comfortable with them because they are like me....overweight and trying to lose that weight.

Danielle weighed me and was really understanding about the 2 pound gain. It wasnt until we got to her desk that I realized why she was so friendly and cool about the gain (when some of the skinny counselors are a little harder on you because they dont understand). She had some pictures. They were of her. Fat!

I couldnt believe it was the same girl. There she was, still very pretty, but very fat! She did the program and lost a ton of weight. It was so inspiring to sit there with her and hear how she has gone through a lot of things that I have gone through, that she was there and still she made it.

I think it goes to show as well that overweight people are judgemental too, just like skinny people. Or at least I am I guess. I assumed that she was just another skinny counselor who would have no idea what its like to be fat. But I was wrong..she had been fat but had changed her life and instead became an inspiration to me.

Meeting her was exactly what I needed today. After my gain and then seeing her "before" pictures, I realized how much I want to lose this weight and be amazing like her. To be able to have "before" picture and shock people that they are of me. I think it was also a slap in the face that I am judgemental too, that I judge people who are skinny, just as I am judged because I am overweight. That really opened my eyes as well.

Why I want to Lose Weight

This seems to be a popular post in the land of weight loss blogs, so I thought I would post something similar as well as it is a great post!

So, here is why I want to lose weight:

1. To be healthy for myself, and my future family
2. To be more confident and have more self esteem. Since gaining weight, I feel like people are always scrutinizing me and my weight.
3. To feel sexier. This will improve my relationship with my boyfriend. I hate how I look naked now.
4. To not walk around feeling like people are thinking, wow she is fat.
5. To not be embarrassed when my boyfriend introduces me to people he works with or other guys. I feel like people are thinking, why is he with her?
6. To not use my weight anymore for reasons WHY. Such as, why doesnt he want to do anything with me? Its probably because Im fat.
7. To finally be free of food. Not eating of course, but the power that it has over me and my life.
8. To have decrease my chance of developing cancer, heart disease, or diabetes, which all run in my family.
9. To be able to go into a store, see something I like, and not worry about whether or not they have XL or size 16.
10. To shop at stores that I couldnt before, like Victorias Secret, Urban Outfitters, etc.

Yes a lot of these reasons are completely vain, such as how I look to others and the clothes I can buy. But years of not being able to do these things and feel this way really takes its toll on you. It will just be plain nice to be able to go throughout my life and not always have my weight on my mind.

Biggest Loser Recap

All I have to say is, WOW! not only did they vote off Jerry, but he looks fantastic! I was happy to see that he kept up with everything and changed his life. He is a true inspiration.

When I was growing up my grandparents were always very overweight. They were always sick and having surgeries. They are both still living, however they are in bad shape. I guess growing up I always thought that that was what it would be like to be old. That you would have to have surgeries and be in pain all the time. Now I realize that my grandparents made some bad life choices and that is why they are the way they are. Seeing Jerry made me realize that you can be any age and be healthy and fit, not sitting in the hospital recovering from yet another surgery. He will be there for his grandkids and maybe even their children!

It is nice to see someone portray older people in a positive light and see that you can change yourself no matter what age.

Things That Make Me Happy

So after all my bad eating I still lost some weight, so that is a great thing! But food shouldnt be my go-to when I am upset. So here are some non-food things that make me happy (and yes 2 of them are food, however it is not eating them that makes me happy, but the act of enjoying them):

1. Reading in bed
2. Scrapbooking
3. Listening to my favorite music
4. Fall, the leaves, the smells, the colors
5. Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks. I love drinking this in the fall slowly.
6. Talking to a good friend
7. Laughing and doing nothing with Kevin
8. Slowly enjoying a red wine
9. Singing
10. Cooking

Next time I feel like eating because I am upset, I will choose one of these things to do simply because the act of doing them just feels great. Can I explain to you why reading in my bed feels great? No, but it just does :)

You have to eat to lose weight

That quote is from Bob, from the Biggest Loser. I have been a fan of that show since the first season. I just watched my tape from Tuesday's show and I just had to write about how much I love that show. I think it is very inspiring and presents overweight people as they should be...as people who do work hard to lose weight, dont just sit on the couch with a donut bitching about how fat they are. They work hard, do it to be healthy, do it for their kids and they dont take a magic pill, dont throw up, and dont have surgery to look that. I also think this shows the struggle that overweight people face in this country. It is not easy to be overweight, it is not easy to endure hard times because of how you look and I am glad that is brought out to the forefront on this show.

I am also glad that Jillian is back. Bob will always be my fav, but Kim always has a real problem creating a bond with her team..most of them never like her and Jillian is tough, but she knows how to get through to people.

And, this show ALWAYS makes me cry!