there arent words

There are not words to describe how this week has been. On Monday I found out that my grandpa had a stroke (the same one I wrote about a few posts ago). They really did not think he was going to make it, but on Wednesday they discovered an infection in his brain that when they pumped him with antibiotics, cleared up and he woke up. There does not seem to be any brain damage. But then his kidneys failed so he had to go on dialysis. Today he had to go on a feeding tube. So it just seems like every day there is some new surprise and something to deal with. I have had to go through feelings of worry that he was going to die, acceptance that he was going to die, happiness he did not die, but unhappiness for the situation he is in and for the quality of his life which does not seem to be good.

This just gives me even more reason to want to be healthy now. I know any of those things can happen to people who live healthy lifestyles, but if what Im doing now even gives me a CHANCE of that not happening to me, then it is all worth it.

I also went to the eye dr this week because my contacts have been killing my eyes (I wear hard contacts), and ended up having to have all these tests done which included dilating my pupils and I had to drive home at rush hour IN TO THE SUN. I wanted to die. All the tests ended up taking so long that I missed my work out too which I was not happy about. So now I have to put these tearing drops in my eyes every hour, and I picked up an anti inflammatory prescription today that was a $60 copay which is NOT something I needed to pay for right now.

UGH. so that has been my week. On the positive side I lost a pound! I am down to 151.2 - SO close to seeing 150. Probably next week. I also ordered a dress online thinking it could be for my bridal shower or some type of shower this summer, and it arrived in a size 10 and its actually big in the top portion. I may have to go down a size which is really thrilling. Or I just need a bigger rack - perhaps a boob job? jk - never would do that. But we will see - just glad to get a dress that I like, fits, and actually is a little too big.

Need to recover from this hellish week - have a party tomorrow and will be likely going to visit my grandpa on Sunday. dont want to screw up my weigh in, but a drink sounds wonderful right now...

the dress