Nothing new

I am sure with a title of "nothing new" no one is going to read this post, but there isnt much to report. I weighed in at 157 which is down .4 from last week, but is still no change from 2 weeks ago. Yes, its frustrating. But again, thats nothing new. TOM is a few days away and I have noticed some bloat. I guess that is one good thing about working out a lot - my stomach pooch has gotten smaller so when I do bloat, I definitely notice it. But I hate to blame any gain or no change on TOM. I guess Im just said that for 2 weeks I have been SPOT on with everything. Im eating enough and enough of the right things, working out 5 days a week, and the weights not going anywhere. Ive only been weighing myself once a week instead of 3. Ive been incorporating some new foods into my diet to make sure I am getting enough protein. All of these things are good things, and I do feel good. Its not that I feel like any of it is worthless because the scale doesnt show me what I want to see. I will continue to do what Im doing. But wouldnt it be nice to see SOME payoff? I guess my pay off is that in 40-50 years, I will be one healthy granny.

Healthy You Challenge Week 43

A quick one.......but gotta keep myself accountable with the HYC!

Down .2 from where I was last week, so thats something isnt it? Seems silly to get too excited over it, but when you have lost the weight that I have, you dont see those pounds anymore, its always the "point - somethings", so I will take anything I can get as long as it is a loss.

Exercise was.......better. I got in 3 days this past week which considering the last two weeks have been only 2 days, Im glad I got 1 more day in this week. Im doing what I can with my schedule, and maybe I can push myself for 1 more day next week.

Mentally, this is not a good week. This is the third straight week I have worked insane hours, and I have about 3 more weeks of this. Its wearing on me and Im depressed and moody. Im just trying not to dwell on the things I cant change right now, or the negative. One positive I thought of today is that yes, I am dealing with what Im doing with, but at least Im not overweight anymore, I am healthy! Its nice know I have one aspect of my life under control for the most part.

Healthy You Challenge Week 42

This will be a quick checkin again this week:

Up .4 from where I was last week, but as I posted yesterday, its not a surprise because I did eat (and drink) more than I normally ever would. It was an exception made for a special weekend, and Im not sorry that I did it. It feels good eating on plan again and I think my digestive system is returning to normal.

Another bad week in terms of exercise: 2 days (excluding the corn maze and dancing at the wedding). Not proud of that again, but quite honestly, I get home with enough time in the evenings for dinner and maybe an hour of leisure time before I head off to bed. Sure, I could take that leisure time and turn it into exercise, and some days I do. But one thing I am working on is my mental health, and mentally, I need this time to read some blogs, read a book, or watch some mindless tv (which I usually do with hand weights or some other type of low key exercise) or I think I will go insane. I have not been able to take a lunch at work all week, so this is about the only time I have to enjoy in the day.

Mentally, I am better this week than I was last week (probably because TOM is over), but its the third straight week I have been working these crazy hours, taking no lunch, and being constantly stressed, and its wearing me down. It feels like this project will never end, and I keep hoping it will get better, but who knows.

Healthy You Challenge Week 41

This will be a quick checkin for the challenge...

Down .8 from where I was last week which is promising.

Exercise I am not that proud of this week..only 2 days and some walking during camping. Once these 12 hour work days are over, I definitely will be increasing this again.

Mentally....not doing so well. Last week was rough and this week is shaping up to be exactly the same. TOM is not helping either as that is causing me to be more irritable and emotional. Thank god it only lasts a few days.

Healthy You Challenge Week 40

Never one to miss a challenge update...despite nothing positive to say.

Weight is up 1.8 from where it was last week. See previous post for all of that.

I got in 4 days of exercise this past week so not too bad. Plus I did a lot of walking at the baseball game last Friday. We walked around the stadium 2 times, and parked very far, so I think that should count for something too!

Mentally...this week is rough. Im pulling 12-13 hour days so far and not sure how Im going to get this project wrapped up by thursday. I am panicking and for the first time am really doubting how it is possible. I just keep telling myself, I just need to get through this week.

Healthy You Challenge Week 39

This will be a quick one for the HYC:

I am down 1.4 from where I was last week, so very happy about that! For exercise, I got in 4 days this week which is good. I had hoped to get another day in, but Ill take 4.

Emotionally I am feeling more upbeat. I think a part of me was depressed because I was sad that summer was over. It was like I had done so many fun things, and then I had nothing to look forward to. But its almost fall and I love fall. I love going to the pumpkin farm, corn maze, drinking apple cider, all that great stuff. I am going camping with my boyfriend in a few weeks, and also have a wedding coming up. So I feel better now that I have something to look foward to other than work. The stress at work is increasing every day, but at least I am not stress eating and trying to work out my stress in other ways like exercise, reading, etc. So it feels good right now..like I am taking care of ALL of me.

Healthy You Challenge Week 38

HYC time again, and if you read the previous post, it should come as no surprise that I am the same weight as I was last week. So no change. I sincerely appreciate all of the kind comments and suggestions that I have received. It feels great that so many can relate to what Im going through, and I am grateful for the support. As I posted yesterday, I am hesitant to really switch up my plan since I know it works, so I may just sneak in those pleateau breaker foods to see if that helps. If not, then I have a ton of suggestions to work with so Im sure I will find something to do the trick.

Exercise this week was good - 5 days. I really pushed myself harder during these workouts and while the scale didnt budge, its not as if they are a waste just because of that.

Mental - healthwise, I am doing ok. Work is definitely stressing me out (and so is being in this plateau), but I dont feel quite as depressed as I did a few weeks ago. I have a client who is driving me absolutely insane and I feel like before this project is over, either he or I will be dead! I try to not let those little things bother me, but its hard sometimes. I am just trying to focus on spending my time doing things that I enjoy (what little time I do have). I love to read so I have been trying to read as much as I can and being even lazier on the weekends which has helped.

Healthy You Challenge Week 37

Another week, another HYC. Last week I did not weigh in so I dont have anything to compare my weight to. Which is probably a good thing since I havent been having the best weighins lately. But of course the HYC is not just about weight loss, so here is how I have been doing otherwise:

Exercise: I was able to get 4 days in this past week. I was hoping for 5 again, but it has been a crazy week at work and time has not been on my side. 4 is not so bad, and I made it to 30 sessions completed of Pilates on Saturday. Anyone knows that a principle of pilates says that you can expect a whole new body at 30 sessions. I dont know if I exactly have a whole new body, but I feel pretty good and I know that the inches I have lost are due to doing this (and other exercise as well).

Mentally: Mentally I am doing ok. I had lunch today with the graphic designer who was my friend that was fired a few weeks ago. Seeing him made me feel better because I really do know that he is doing ok. I have spoken to him since then, but seeing him in person helped a lot. I was really able to express to him how his being fired made me feel and knowing that he is over it has helped me realize that I need to stop being angry over the situation. He has moved on, so I dont need to be angry or hurt for him anymore. So we had a nice lunch (went to the breakfast place we always go to), and ate on plan. I have also started to open up more about how I am feeling mentally. I have shared it on this blog, with my boyfriend, and with a few people at work. It feels good not to pretend anymore that things are great (even though I dont think I was pretending so well), and while I dont really feel like I am happy exactly, I feel mentally in a better spot than where I was a week ago.

Healthy You Challenge Week 36

HYC time again! I do not have a weight to post as I didnt weigh myself yesterday. I normally dont weigh myself on days when I am eating more than usual such as a holiday, or when my schedule is different and I wont be weighing myself at the same time,etc. But thats fine, I allowed myself some indulgences at a cookout yesterday, and Im sure I am up on the scale anyways. I know its temporary so I am ok with that.

In regards to exercise though, I had a great week. I got in 5 days of exercise and it feels good to get back to that number again. Some weeks are easier than others to get it in, and Im glad this past week was a good week.

So the Healthy You Challenge is not just about weight and exercise, but about being healthy. I think there is one other aspect in my life that needs a little help. Mentally, I am not so very healthy lately. Its kind of ironic that for once in my life, my weight is not what is out of control! Lately I am just feeling unhappy with a lot of things in my life and its making me pretty depressed. Most of my unhappiness has to do with my job, and I am really turning into a person that I dont like. I get angry and irritable very easily, and the stress I feel is just overwhelming. I really need to get control over the stress and anger, and just some other things that I feel are adding to my unhappiness (money, not being engaged,etc).

One thing that is contributing this is related to food. I used to use food in all of the above scenarios to help me deal with things. And while the food itself did not do anything, now that I no longer use food as a tool to help me deal with things emotionally, I actually have to feel those emotions. Scale Junkie wrote about this a while back and it really related to me. Sometimes now it HURTS to actually feel things, things that I used to run to food and try to forget. Because who really likes to feel sadness or anger? No one. Most people can cope, but others use something, such as food or drugs, to deal with it. I used to use food. Now I dont, and I have to find other ways of dealing with things in my life and feelings that I have.

So a new challenge for me in this HYC: to find ways to live a mentally healthy life.

Healthy You Challenge Week 35

I know every week I say this, but I just cannot believe how time flies. It always seems like I was just checking in for the HYC and here it is again.

Down .2 from last week, which is pretty good, and I got in 4 days of exercise. So I am keeping myself up to my standards for exercise which is good since I was pretty lax about it the past month. Thursdays are shaping up to be a good day to exercise since I am able to work from home so I dont have to spend so much time in the car, and now I can use that time for exercise.

So today was the ice cream social, and I did have some ice cream. Or rather, frozen yogurt. But that is where labels can be deceiving. You see, I thought that frozen yogurt would be better than ice cream. And I am sure it is to some extent. But about an hour after I had some, my stomach hurt really bad. I checked out the nutritional info on the stuff and the ingredients were: skim milk, cream, corn syrup, and whey (which is about the only good thing in the mix). Ok does that sound good to you? Because it did not to me, and that is completely why my stomach was killing me. So my body is paying me back, and I can say that it was NOT worth it. And honestly, I wasnt even really dying for the stuff. After having my treat over the weekend, I did get it out of my system and it didnt seem to taste that great either. Blech...no more ice cream for a while.

Healthy You Challenge Week 34

Well how am I doing this week for the HYC? Not too shabby. I am down 2.2 from where I was last week which is pretty great. Considering I have been doing this weight loss thing for over a year and can stil drop 2 pounds is pretty amazing.

In regards to exercise, I was able to get in 4 days this week. Today I really did not feel like exercising but I made myself. I know my body needs it, and I have to fight the laziness, tiredness, and stress that I feel that makes me want to skip it. Things at work are so crazy lately and every day I tell myself I am going to leave at a decent time and go home and exercise. Unfortunately I never seem to leave at a normal time and end up wanting to go home and eat dinner and go to bed. Not a very fun life huh?!

So I have stopped writing down everything that I eat. I still plan my meals, but Im really focusing on what I know. And what I know is that it is important to eat a balanced meal. And I do. Its important to have those nutritious snacks. And so I do. I know what I need to do and need to eat, and Im happy to report that it really is becoming 2nd nature. I know it goes against advice to always write down everything you eat. And I agree..in the beginning it is essential. But I also feel for long term, you really need to have a 2nd nature about what goes in your mouth and whats important for you to eat. Im glad that after all this time, I feel ready to do this and that I truly can LIVE this and that it has become a part of me, not just a diet habit.

Healthy You Challenge Week 33

Its time for the Healthy You Challenge, and I am happy to report that I am down .4 from where I was this time last week. So thats something good to start with. In regards to exercise, I am happy to report that I got in 4 days. Definitely needs improvment, but exercise has been lacking these past few weeks so Im glad Im working my way up again to 5 days.

I added pears back into my diet again this week as that gave me an extra boost when I needed to lose those last few pounds when I was trying to get to goal. So hopefully the extra fiber will help me get below 160 again because its been far too long since I was below in the 150s.

The question was posted on the HYC blog, how are you different now? To answer, how am I NOT would be a better question! I am so different than I was even a year ago when I was starting out with this healthy lifestyle. I used to doubt myself tremendously in the past when I would try to lose weight. I was so hard on myself too. I took every single failure so personally, and I can say that I have completely turned that around. I know realize that I can succeed, and even when there are mistakes along the way or those bad days where it feels like everything goes wrong, it does get better. It is very freeing in a way because I no longer feel like I am hindered by weight or by a "diet". I actually feel very "normal" (I hate that word actually because what is normal?). I can go through a day without feeling like I need to use food as something other than what is there for - nourishment. I can go through a day without feeling like everyone is staring and judging me by my weight. I can like what I see in the mirror. I feel a sense of accomplishment with the fact that I acheived a major goal.

So basically, how am I different? In just about every way!

Late Healthy You Challenge Week 32

Down a pound today which makes me happy. Especially after having dinner at my grandparents last night for my grandmas birthday. It helped that I didnt like most of the food that was there, and ended up having 2 thin slices of pork (which I dont like at all!), and a huge serv of broccoli, carrots, and cauliflower. I passed on the corn on the cob (which I do like but know would have caused a gain), mashed potatoes (again, love but passed on), and gravy. Dessert time came around and I passed on the red velvet cake, and instead had some angel food cake with strawberries and low fat cool whip which was delicious! Had one glass of wine, and by the scale, Ill say I did well.

I am a day late on the HYC and did not weigh in last week since I was on my trip, so I dont really have a comparison weight. I have worked out 2X which I definitely am not pleased with, but things have been wild and I need to get on a schedule again. Things at work were slow for a while which was nice because I could get home earlier and have time to exercise. Now things are crazy again and Im getting home later and later. I just need to focus on the little ways I can get that exercise in and I know I will be up to 4-5X a week again soon.

Update and Healthy You Challenge Week 30

Well unfortunately last Friday was too good to be true as I am back up to 161. I am SHOCKED again, but in a bad way. To have gained almost 2 pounds is almost unfathomable to me. I did have pizza while at the racetrack on Saturday, and apparently that is the culprit. I certainly hope it is as I really dont see any reason why I would be up so much.

I am also weighing in for the challenge since I am leaving for vacation on Wednesday, and will likely be busy tomorrow packing,etc. after work to write a proper entry. I am actually up .4 from where I was last week (and last week I was swollen and had TOM), so I am definitely not happy. I have only gotten in 2 days of exercise as well. I planned on exercise today, but I got home at 8 and as I have much to do (eat dinner, start packing, dishes, bills, etc.), I had to put exercise on hold. Not the best thing to do, and definitely not a habit I plan on keeping, but thats life sometimes.

Well Im visiting my parents for about the next week so I wont be blogging or probably visiting many blogs while I am gone. I plan on just continuing to eat healthy and get in exercise where I can. Hopefully I return and at least maintain a weight at 160 or below (preferably!!). All I know is, Ill do my best!

Healthy You Challenge Week 29

Well I am up .8 from last weeks post for the HYC, but as I wrote yesterday, at least I know why and I can live with that for now. Some of my swelling has gone down, and I have been eating healthy so far this week, so I expect that tomorrow I should hopefully be back down.

In regards to exercise, I got 3 formal days of exercise in, which isnt bad at all. "Formal" not including all the walking and swimmnig I did this weekend. It hurt to exercise today as I am really sore from the waverunner, but I made myself do it and I know that I will only benefit from going for it. I took it a little easier, more low impact, and I was ok.

Not much else to report, things are looking good!

Healthy You Challenge Week 28

Another update for the HYC! I am "happily maintaining" as I put it yesterday, and have not lost or gained since last weeks checkin.

Since exercise is the focus of this challenge for me, I can report that I have exercised 4 times. I honestly believe that this exercise helped me maintain my weight over the weekend with all the extra food. Friday-Sunday I woke up and worked out for at least 20 min before going out to a party, and this helped keep the focus on my goals.

Today I went out to a client site to meet some clients for a well known hardware company in the U.S. This is only the second time I have had to meet a client (most of the time it is the senior consultants who go), and this time, I felt good about meeting them in person. Last time I met a client, I was pretty overweight and was embarrassed that she would know what I really looked like. Silly and totally vain, but true. She had made a comment at one point that I "looked how I sounded on the phone" and wasnt sure how to interpret that. Today however, I went in to the meeting feeling confident and unashamed about my appearance. That definitely is a good feeling!

Healthy You Challenge Week 27

Hard to believe it was just a week ago that I was checking in and celebrating meeting my goal! But I am happy to say that I am still maintaining under 160 and nothing really has changed in regards to food and exercise. I think sometimes people think that they meet goal and then they can just do whatever they want. The reality is, it still takes a lot of work to keep on losing or maintaining.

I got in 5 days of exercise again this time around! Very happy about that. I am hoping this will help me lose the next 10 pounds. I know my eatings on track and Im not about to eat less, so I guess its exercise that will help do the trick.

oh and I almost forgot! I have gotten a lot of requests for before/after pics. I definitely will post some as soon as I remember to have my boyfriend take one. Maybe this weekend since I will probably have my camera on me at some of the cookouts we will be attending.

Healthy You Challenge Week 26

This was a great week for me with this challenge because if you saw the previous post, I made my goal! The thrill of it still hasnt worn off as it is hard to believe.

But, this challenge is not just about weight loss, it is about being healthy. So obviously I am continuing on, focusing not just on my weight loss but exercise as well. I am happy to report that this week, I exercised 5 times, which is a new record! I love the summer because I have so much more free time to get out there and get that exercise in. I know that has helped me get to my goal as well.

In regards to future goals, if you notice, I set a new goal weight of 150. That is another 10 pounds from my previous goal, and 9.8 for me to lose. I am sure it will be slow, but I feel I am not ready to go into stabilization yet. I like the way I look at 160, but I think I would feel more comfortable in some clothes (like shorts) having dropped another size. If I could make it to size 10, I think I would feel pretty good. So that is the plan..150 and then I will go into stabilization. If before then I feel that I am ready for stabilization, then I will do it. At least I feel that I have the freedom now to just go with the flow. Now that I have met my goal, I feel less pressure to keep losing and losing.

It sounds wierd that I want to continue weight loss, and while I am tired, I also know that I have it in me to keep on going. I never ever thought when I started this that I would be here. Especially when LA weight loss closed last December (and still never refunded me my $ by the way), I really thought that there was no way I could keep it up without the counselors there. But in a way, Im glad it closed. It forced me to do this on my own, and I have. But not really on my own...thanks to everyone who reads and supports my blog, especially those in this challenge, I have had the support I needed to get through every frustration, gain, plateau, and also make me feel great when I succeed. So thanks!

Healthy You Challenge Week 25

I cant believe another week has flown by and it is time for the Challenge.

Since I was up 10 pounds last week, I didnt record a weight since it was swelling. I dont have anything to compare my weight too, but right now Im ok with where its at. I am a little nervous because tomorrow my grandparents are taking me out for a belated birthday dinner and Ive checked the menu and there is little for me to go with. Knowing my grandparents too, they are both obese and enjoy food and are the biggest "food pushers" I know. I know that no matter what I decide, they will keep asking me if I want MORE MORE MORE. Last year they got me a cake "all to myself" (as if that is what I wanted). So I plan to do my best tomorrow with what the restaurant offers, and we will see on Friday if I am up, down, or the same. Im hoping for down!

I got in 3 days of exercise this week which is much better than the day I got in last week. It feels good to be back in the habit again.

I had some NSVs at the grad party I went to on Saturday. Some of my boyfriend's family havent seen me in a while, so I received several comments on my weight loss which made me feel good. Especially since this one guy was there who we camp with every year, and he didnt know who I was at first! True, that when we camp I rarely have makeup on and my hair done, but almost 50 pounds lighter and with a haircut, I could see why he would think I was a new girlfriend. I guess at times I feel like I am.

Healthy You Challenge Week 24

Well out of curiousity I thought, I am still swollen but I wonder if I made it to my goal (tomorrow is my birthday). After all, how much could some swelling be? Um..apparently 10 pounds!! Not at all the weigh in I wanted before my birthday.

I am just choosing to ignore that because I know I have stuck to plan and that its impossible for me to have gained 10 true pounds. So Im just sticking with my last weigh in weight (160.8). After all, that is pretty damn close to my goal. I will be happy with that. And it just goes to show, swelling DOES make a big difference.

Something else that probably plays into account is that I have only gotten in 1 day of exercise. I was so sore the other days that I did not chose to exercise. Not the best plan and I actually hate that I felt that way, but the thought of moving my body in any way was more than I could take. I can barely lift my arms above my head to brush my hair!

I also wanted to comment about my last post. I appreciate all comments, however if you dont like something I write, thats fine, but dont assume I am a bad person. The fact is, I was fat and I made myself that way. So you see, I once was one of those people walking around scarfing down fried food without a care in the world. If anyone is to be offended, it would be me. I dont think Im better than those people now that Ive lost the weight. All I was commenting on is that it is no longer worth it to me and I really dont see why people do not think about what they put into their bodies. So be proud if you disagree with me, you dont have to hide behind an anonymous name. You really dont know me at all or what I have been through, and I have to say, I think I have been a supporter of all people in stages of weight loss, through their successes and their failures. If we cannot even be honest on our own blogs, where can we be? Dont try to make me feel ashamed for what I believe and choose to write on my own blog.