Apparently the fight over the pizza yesterday wasnt enough. Round 2 just happened. Needless to say I am not a happy girl right now.
I know the things my boyfriend says and asks are out of consideration and love. Such as, are you sure you dont want another drink? That is just being an attentive boyfriend. However to someone dieting, that is hanging a temptation in front of your face.
Yet he does not seem to get it. He is taking this so personally. I am not trying to stop him from anything he is eating or doing. He can make his own decisions regarding food and his lifestyle. I will make mine.
We have been through a lot in this relationship. In 8 yrs we have seen just about everything. And yet this is a completely new thing. I need him to be supportive and I want to do the things every couple does, but its hard when the person you are with is yet another constant obstacle in this battle.
It seems like all around me are challenges to face. Sometimes it gets tiring. Im not tired yet, but its hard. At work today for example, I found out the president doesnt want to buy bottled water anymore. sure he will buy pop and loads of junk food, but nope, not water which is cheaper than pop and a lot healthier. All around me, it seems like people are trying to deter my weight loss. I am fighting these battles left and right. I know the whole world is not against me, but right now it feels like every possible thing that could hurt my weight loss is being thrown at me and it is getting really old. This whole process has really wakened me up to how sad our society is. How it almost rewards fat people by providing fast food and unhealthy choices at every turn. I give credit to every person in this world who is trying to lose weight because man its hard and it takes a lot of of each and every person just to get through a day of eating healthy because there is so many things coming from every direction to throw you off track.
Its bad too because I was up .4 today and part of me was blaming it on the pizza and consequently my boyfriend. Yes I ate in moderation and I could just be retaining water since TOM will start soon, but I really wanted to blame it on him. I know its not his fault and he is trying his best to understand. Its just really difficult for me right now to get things through to him. I really dont know how else to make him understand what this is like.
4 comments:
What I have told a friend of mine, and have to tell myself at times, is that there are going to be challenges for the rest of our lives. It's not that the world is out to get us, it's just how the world is for everyone. And the population is divided into the people that indulge responsibly, and those that don't. We will learn to be in the first group, and it is hard, but the harder the battle, the better the reward.
Sometimes, it takes a while for things to stick. Your boyfriend has habits with you, just as you have habits with food. Changing for him is as stressful as changing is for you. I mean, he's used to being able to share pizza and popcorn and whatever with you, and now he can't. So, he feels denied. And you are trying to change, and his wanting to keep things the same feels like he's denying your need. So, both of you are at loggerheads, and it makes sense. It does.
However, your health is a bigger issue than his comfort. Sorry, but it is. So, a few good solid talks with him, a few reconditioning efforts (sorry to say it, but a lot like how one trains dogs, yikes) are necessary. When he asks you to have another drink, "Say, no, I can't. For the sake of my health, I need to stop with one. Please don't ask me again if I want a drink. It hurts me when I'm tempted by someone I love."
Maybe that will make him mad, but he needs to accept that changes are NECESSARY.
Also, you need to find a nice compromise. Maybe when he feels like pizza, you can come up with an eatable pizza recipe you can make at home. Make his half the way he wants (or his personal pizza). Make yours with weighed/measured and vegetables. That way, you can both eat it and he can get that social thing with you that he obviously needs--to share the joy of eating.
Or just ask him that he eat pizza for lunch with friends or coworkers, so that he can eat something else when you two have dinner together, something that's friendly to your eating plan.
It's not going to be easy. But if there's love, it will work out. People who love you will compromise. Selfish people don't. I'm assuming he's not selfish, just hurt, like you.
Best of luck with that.
And hey, pizza is a trigger food for me, so boy, do I know the issue well.
The Princess
I know what you mean about bad choices around every corner. It seems like you have to work so hard just to find the healthy things!
I'm so sorry that he is having a hard time accepting change in your life. Have you sat down with him and explained your goals and what you are aiming for? Tell him you are doing it for better health long term and to look and feel better with yourself. I really think that subconsciously he thinks you changing could result in a change in your relationship. Men need reassuring sometimes too.
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