Monday, May 4, 2009

Its OK

First things first, I weighed in .8 up. but at 157.2, I'm not complaining. Even though I didnt really lose anything last month, I can say with certainty that I am seeing 159 and 158 less and less, and 156 and 157 a lot more.

I will admit that on Saturday, I was really really disapointed with my measurements. I didnt lose much and here are the results:

Right Arm: -.04
Left Arm: -.03
Waist: -.02
Hips: 0
Right thigh: 0
Left thigh:0

Didnt lose much anywhere and what I did lose is pretty miniscule. It was hard to see. Despite the fact that for the last month I have worked out 3-4 times a week rather than 5, I still thought I would see better results than that. My arms are looking pretty good and I guess this explains why the upper half of me went down a size. Now if I could just get the lower half to match.

But its all ok. I dont know why I feel that way, but I do. I think I am really starting to look at the bigger picture. When I look at how far I have come this year, I definitely have made strides in focusing less on what the scale says and more on how I feel. I feel pretty great actually. Maybe its the increased exercise that has lifted my moods and made me more accepting of my body, but I dont actually hate it right now. I came to terms with my weight at this point a while back when I realized it was just a number and that I could still change my body without changing the number on the scale. While its been slow, I have felt the benefits of exercise more than just with measurements or the scale. I feel good and I feel like I am finally taking care of myself the way I should be. Its not a bad place to be.

Along with this, I can feel my focus start to change. Not that I am falling off the wagon, but I dont feel so focused on weight and food all the time. Things in my life are starting to change - my boyfriend and I are looking at houses and engagement rings (!!!!), and I realize that now that I have my weight under control and its become a part of my life, I can focus on other things that I want. Im thinking that perhaps maintenance is something I might be ready for. It would be nice to get some more food in, but at the same time Im afraid to move into that phase when I feel ok where Im at. We will see. These are just some random thoughts Im having. In any case, I dont mind where Im at and thats the first time in a long time that I can say that.

6 comments:

sybilizedliving.wordpress.com said...

What a GREAT space to be in, Heather, to be accepting of your body, just where it is today. I know I need to continue to work on having that attitude.

As far as the measurements, I was reading in the book New Rules of Lifting for Women that with strength training, we won't necessarily have a reduction in inches (especially around the shoulders and upper body/arms) but we will LOOK better because of the muscle that we build.

I've certainly found that to be true. Since switching up my routine the end of 2008, I've reduced my hips/thighs by 2" but my upper body has not changed, measurement wise. However, I make Mr. W feel my biceps and triceps periodically because they've certainly changed.

Keep up the great work and 'whoo hoo' re: the house and ring! How exciting.

Cammy said...

Good for YOU! It really is okay to be happy. :) And Lord knows, you have lots to be happy about. The house/ring thing alone sounds especially joyous (if a tad scary.)

I'm sitting here grinning (at 5:30 a.m.) and being happy because you're happy. Thank you. :)

MB said...

I was so happy to read this post and glad you are feeling good about all you've accomplished.

WOW ... houses and engagement rings ... way more exciting than weights and measures.

Ceres said...

It is so GREAT that you finally feel good about yourself! It was about time, I mean, you have accomplished so much, you have completely turned around your relationship with food, and you look astonishing! The hardest part is, of course, to change what you truly feel on the inside, and it seems like you're getting there, so kudos!!
And, oh my god, I am so happy about the house-and-ring-searching!!! So exciting!

Rachit said...
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Trisaratops said...

I want to print this post and carry it with me whenever I am feeling impatient about my weight. The big picture is what this whole process has been about, and I have to remember that. You sound great! And ooh la la - congrats on the ring and house shopping - big doin's over there!