Weighed in at 148.4, and things just seem to be going the wrong way. True I am aiming for maintenance, but every week Ive gained around .2 or .4 and it is really driving me crazy as to why. True, I did eat more than I normally would on Monday since I attended a party. I ate mostly healthy, but I did have a beer and a cookie for dessert. Still, I would hardly think that 4 days later I would still be holding on to any of that.
Ive still been tracking my food in spark people and that is right on. Ive still been averaging 4-5 days a week for workouts. The only difference the last few weeks is that I have been able to work from home on Fridays which means i have worked out in the morning. I would think a work out prior to a weigh in would lead to a loss, but that is seriously the only differnece in my habits since I started seeing the small increase in my weight. Maybe I am just paranoid and Ive had a bad few weeks. TOM is coming soon and I tend to bloat from that, but since I hit my low of 147.8 2 weeks ago, its been 2 weeks of small gains. Its been around 148 for a month now.
It sucks that I have to live my life paranoid of gaining back weight. I am really happy where I am at now. Yet I am so afraid of gaining it back and now I see these small gains and it makes me feel crazy. Especially when the next few weeks are filled with parties, my birthday, a White Sox game, etc. where Im eating out a lot. I am so afraid I will be over 150 again and I have spent months since xmas getting to this point only to fear its going to be undone.
That is just my freak out moment right there. I know I have control over things and that I always do the best that I can. Its hard when I reach moments like this where I am doing everything I can and its not enough, and then it gets even harder when I reach moments where I dont have enough control and then I am afraid of what things will really be like. I just need to keep doing all that I can and hope that I start to see a change.