Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Not Liking Where this is going

So I knew why I was up on Monday, but today I am clueless. I am up .2 and while this isnt a large gain, I wasnt expecting to see a loss seeing as I was up so much on Monday. I really wish I knew what was going on. I havent been this high in a few weeks. My water and diet are in check, exercise is on track, so what gives? Its times like these are the most frustrating to me. If it was something I could control, I would feel much better about it.

Something I had wanted to write about was from last Friday. Last Friday while at a friends house, we happened to watch a video from New Years Eve in 2003. While I certainly expected that I would be overweight, I wasnt at my heaviest weight then and when I look back on that time, I dont remember really feeling fat. Well let me tell you, when I saw that video I was so shocked by how I looked. It wasnt at all how I remembered looking at that time, and it was hard to see. It definitely reminded me why I did this, and why I can never go back to that. There are still times where I worry that it will happen. While I feel that I have control over things the way that my life is now, I know that wont always be the case. I havent even been under/at my goal weight for a year yet. It does concern me that in the years to come things will just slip away. Not that I want that to happen, but its my fear and probably a fear of most people who have lost and maintained weight. This video is something that hopefully will remind me that I NEVER want to go back to that weight again.

But on the up side - it is pretty cool that I look better at 26 (almost 27 yrs old) than I did at 21. Most people usually wish to look how they did when they were younger and for once, Im glad that I am this age and look the way I do.


Cammy said...

My weight seems to bounce 2-3 pounds on either side of my target, even though I'm fairly consistent in what I eat and how much I exercise. It looks as though yours is doing the same. I'm calling mine normal. :)

With a focus on being healthy, I don't think you're at risk of going back. Just keep your eye on the prize, which is how great you feel about yourself!

Ceres said...

Although frustrating, these fluctuations should not be a major source of concern, since you've been doing everything right. The weight will go back down. I was looking at my weight calendar the other day, Even though there was a clear downward trend,I had forgotten how volatile my weight was.

Isn't it a funny experience to watch yourself in old videos after all this weight loss? I had exactly the same reaction when I looked at some pictures from two years ago, and I haven't even lost all the weight that you have; still, it's a great difference, my face, especially, has shrunk so much! I am 28 now, and I definitely look better than I did at 25. You should take a deep breath and feel super-proud of yourself. You've accomplished so much!

As for gaining the weight back, I know what you mean... It's scary, and I had a taste of it when I regained almost half of what I lost. I guess we need to keep reminding ourselves that this is not a war that will end when we reach our goal, it's a series of small battles that we'll keep fighting for the rest of our lives. You can never go back to your old habits, because this will bring the weight back where it was. But for now, I wouldn't worry too much about it; you seem absolutely focused on staying healthy and active, and that should take care of business :-)

Crystal said...

I think looking better the older you get is such an accomplishment for you and it's grea you can see it in pictures, etc.

That weight can be a pesky little bugger. I'm totally blaming my current plateau on the almost full moon out there.