Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Stressful day

Well I am down .4 from Monday which is something. However I really thought I would be down much less and back in the 159s. I have eaten well all week so far, and exercised 2 days. I would think that alone would have moved me back down, but apparently not. I do still have some swelling and TOM, so Im just hoping its that.

I hate that I am feeling anxious because I am at 160. But its been a stressful week and day today. We have had clients in all week, specifically for a project that I am going to manage that is extremely high profile and sensitive, and just hearing about it has made me sick to my stomach. Add that to my insane workload and a vacation coming up (that I have no idea how everything will get done while I am gone), and you get MAJOR STRESS.

In the past, major stress has always led to stress eating. Now dont get me wrong, Im not about to head to the grocery store and buy all my binge foods. Nor did I eat the glazed donut staring at me in the kitchen at work yesterday. However, I keep getting flashes of myself going crazy, eating. I know its my body trying to go back to the stress reliever I used to have - food. That was how I coped and so its tempting me with visions of food.

The interesting thing is, I really have no desire to eat or for food. Yet that is what I keep seeing in my mind. It just goes to show, issues with food rarely go away. I may have lost the weight I wanted and gotten control over food, but that is still ingrained in me and I will have to fight it every time I am in situations like this. People should realize that when you lose the weight, the battle isnt over. I will probably always have a fight with food and emotions. Its hard, but somehow I will get through it.


Michelle said...

Yep, most people who lose and maintain will tell you maintaining is harder than losing. With losing you get that reward of losing. Sounds like are doing really good, trying to stay sane while things are crazy and not using food to ease the stress. Hang in there!

Cammy said...

I'm so sorry you're under so much stress, but way to go on remaining mindful and aware of what's going on around you.

Once Upon A Dieter said...

Maintaining is hard, and will continue to be hard.

But you're at a great weight, you look terrific, and if you stayed at this weight you'd still look great and feel great and be healthy. So, don't sweat it. Continue to do you plan, and if you lose, yay, if you maintain, yay. You will have small ups adn downs (that's the nature of maintenance and being female) so a small up is not an issue as long as you're on your plan.

Really, you're rocking this.

The Princess

MizFit said...

wow that is a big big victory
the mids eye seeing and yet resisting!


Tori said...

Hey that's a great loss. It's amazing how strong the mind is over the body.

Your doing great!!

Ceres said...

Best of luck in your new project! I know exactly what you mean about your tendency to fantasize about food when you get stressed; when I am anxious or sad, the same happens to me. Combine that with TOM, and it's a miracle if you don't deviate, even slightly. Good job! And you're so right about the constant battle with food; sometimes I feel like an alcoholic anonymous, like I'll have to fight my urges to binge for the rest of my life!

Scale Junkie said...

I know you'll do a fabulous job with this new project and I know you'll find a way to channel that stress into something productive.

Make sure you take time to stop and take a few deep breaths when you get overwhelmed or take a walk around the block, both excellent ways to deal with stress.

Anonymous said...

You seem like such a strong a determined lady. I know you will overcome this fear & mental temptations with the same strength and determination that has brought you to where you are today! =)