Well I was too busy after work to write last night, but I weighed in .2 less than I did all week, so I will take it! Sure, not a large loss I was hoping for, but its still a loss. I am not really sure why this week was so slow in regards to my weight loss. I was on plan, have exercised, and have done everything that I needed to do.
Last night my boyfriend and I had plans to go out with our friends. Our best friends are married to each other, and they have a child so they rarely get to go out and hang out with us. They got a babysitter so we were excited to go out and be "normal" 25-26 year olds for an evening. Just about nothing went right! My boyfriend and I went to the restaurant we were going to meet them at and put our names on the list. We still hadnt heard from our friends. We were seated and finally they said the babysitter showed up and that they should be leaving. We waited 40 min and still hadnt heard anything. Finally called us to say that they were only then just leaving. My boyfriend and I were pretty furious, so we went ahead and ate dinner without them. We were just getting our check when they showed up. The plan was to go out to a bar that was nearby, so my boyfriend and I headed over there while they had their dinner.The rest of the evening was fun, which is all that matters. We were just upset that our one evening out with our friends didnt go so well. I also had some things at the restaurant I shouldnt have eaten, but I was starving waiting for our friends and just wasnt thinking of my own best interests.
I was also kind of discouraged when we were out at this bar. Most days, I look at myself and think, I look great! But then I go out and think that now, even after 45 pounds lost, I still am fat compared to the majority of people out there. Looking at all these girls in their tight jeans and tops, I just felt like I was kidding myself to think that I really looked thin. I know I have already mentioned that I dont think I will stop my weight loss at 160, that I will probably continue on to 150. Now I just feel like, will that ever be enough? Since I was thin and 18, the standards of what is thin has definitely changed and I dont think that even then I will really look thin.
I know that its not about just being thin or fat. Its about health as well. I know that and Im not discrediting that at all. I just felt my first surge of disapointment because man I have worked my ass off at this! And to still see that compared to other girls my age, Im still fat, makes me feel as if I will never actually be considered thin.