Week 29 and while I havent weighed in since Wed, I hope that I am doing pretty well. It bothers me that I dont know where I stand with my weight, but I like to stick to my set way of doing things, and we will see on Monday where I am at.
Valentines day was really nice. My boyfriend sent me flowers at work and they were very beautiful. Yes, I am one of those girls that gets flowers at work. Honestly, I just think its a nice gesture on behalf of my boyfriend. Later on that night, we went out to dinner at a winery they have nearby (that I used to work at actually). We did a winetasting, and then had a great meal and even better conversation. I stayed pretty well on plan. I had steak (which I know would have caused me to be up yesterday on the scale anyways), steamed broccoli, a small bite of the mashed potatoes, and 2 glasses of wine. Then we shared a peach bellini sorbet for dessert, which was so delicious and light. Much better than getting something like the tiramisu or chocolate lava cake. I ended up being quite drunk (so did he), but it was a fun time. I paid the price yesterday as I woke up with a hangover and was chugging water all day and craving some grease. I miss the "hangover breakfasts" I had in college. But definitely not something the "new" healthy me would eat.
Yesterday was kind of rough in regards to my parents being here. Not necessarily foodwise, but just in general. After work, I met my parents at the hospital where my grandpa is. When I walked in the room, everyone made comments about how much weight I have lost. That was fine, its nice to be appreciated for the hard work. But then my grandma would just not drop the whole thing. Making it sound like I am starving myself. It was making me uncomfortable how much she was scrutinizing me. Later on, we went back to my grandmas house and she made manicotti for dinner. Not the best option, but I was able to make it work. I had a small salad and then 1 tube of manicotti. However, I also had a piece of garlic bread which was going over what I allot myself for the day. My grandma has also made a chocolate valentines day cake (God knows why), and tried to push that on me. I said to her many times that I didnt want it, and she had to keep going on and on about the "healthy" me, and saying "when did you care so much about eating healthy". It was actually really offensive. She said, well I have healthy food, here, eat an apple. I said, no I am not hungry anymore.
Then my mom says to me, well I hope you are not taking this to the extreme. Meaning, please dont end up like your sister. Now, I can see why she would be concerned because my sister has an eating disorder and I can understand why she may be concerned about this. But I in no way look like my sister, and I eat and function like a person without an eating disorder. Because I have lost some weight, now suddenly this is an eating disorder?
For years since I gained weight, all I have heard from my mom is how unhealthy I am and how she worries about me. She stopped ever taking me shopping or anything so she wouldnt have to go in the plus size stores. However now I am losing weight and becoming a healthy individual at 171 pounds, and I have to get a lecture on how I am going to the extreme!?! The thing is, my body is doing this naturally. I give it food, healthy unprocessed food, and its doing this on its own. Before, I was giving it crap. That is why I was fat. Now I am eating as people should eat (balanced, in moderation, and with unprocessed foods), and people are suprised the weight comes off? Well Im not! When you give your body what it needs, it responds. It is so offensive to me that I have to endure an evening of scrutiny of my body and my food choices, after years of scrutiny about my weight and being plus size, and its still not good enough!
Only then to come home at midnight, find my carbon monoxide detector is once again going off (this happened a month ago and was replaced with a new battery and unit), and the maintenance man was pissed he was woken up and didnt want to do jackshit about it. I had to call my boyfriend, who drove over here to buy me a new battery and replace it to make sure it was just the battery and not carbon monoxide flooding my apartment. Finally went to bed at 2am.
And thats my life.