Sunday, February 17, 2008

Sunday

I am so bad at coming up with interesting titles.

Well I got through another day at my grandmas house yesterday. My boyfriend went with me and I always feel better when he is by my side. My parents and my grandma didnt say much else, but later on my dads aunt and my aunt and uncle showed up and the comments continued. My dads aunt said, well are you starving yourself? Right away, I tried to remember all the advice I had gotten to just let it roll off my back. It was hard, but I just said, no I eat plenty. Then my dads aunt continued with, well you need to eat things that you enjoy. Again, inside I was screaming, I DO ENJOY WHAT I EAT. Because I do, I dont fill my day up with things that I despise to lose weight, I make my choices for what I am craving that day or what I think I will enjoy most, like a bowl of mixed fruit with fat free cool whip on top. But I just answered, no I enjoy what I eat.

Then my aunt said, oh you look fabulous, dont you feel so much better about yourself and have more energy? I liked that she was focused on the health part of losing weight, but it also made me feel like she was indicating that before, I was just this self conscious loser who was huffing and puffing around everywhere.

It doesnt help that most people in my family are very un-health conscious. My grandparents are 2 of the worst people I have ever seen when it comes to eating healthy. Both are extremely overweight with health problems. My dads aunt has heart problems and has had her weight fluctuate drastically over the years. All of them eat in excess and are food pushers. I hate that I am doing this for me, and I have to get comments about it. I hate how I eat the way that people should eat, and its "you have an eating disorder", "are you starving yourself?", "you need to enjoy what you are eating".

Like I posted yesterday, I became fat for a reason. Losing this weight has been hard because of constant challenges, not because my body has been fighting this. My body has LOVED what I hae been doing for it and has rewarded me with dropping this weight. its simple proof that I and I alone, was what was making myself fat. I gave my body the completely wrong things and it "rewarded" me with fat. Now I am giving it fuel and healthy foods and it is dropping the weight because it doesnt need it anymore. Obviously I have a goal to get, but its not as if my body has really let up on this weight loss thing anyways.

I am just glad this weekend is over. I think I have felt more self conscious about myself than I did when I was at my highest weight this weekend. I love compliments and people recognizing my hard work. However, apparently people in my family do not know how to stop at a simple, you look great!

4 comments:

Katy said...

Family can be hard sometimes....

It seems like your family is afraid of change (or losing weight). And don't get me wrong, losing weight is scary, because there is a lot of emotions involved with how we relate to food. But, until they are ready to change they are probably always going to criticize you. Just stay strong mentaly and don't let the mean things they say get to you.

Scale Junkie said...

I'm so glad your boyfriend went with you, at least you had someone there in your corner.

I hear stories of your family and you could be talking about mine. I do understand where you're coming from.

40 by 40 said...

They probably are a little envious/feeling bad about themselves for not doing it too..not caring for themselves...not having the self control,etc...and then add the family experience w/ the eating disorder..there you go. Just keep on keeping on..feel good about what you have accomplished. Enjoy how good you feel now.

Bev said...

That is so funny because my family does the same thing to me! My dad, mom and 2 sisters are ALL obese, very large people. They think I'm anorexic HA! It's hard to talk with them about being healthy and weight loss because they don't want to hear it. That is why I love blogging......meeting others who are likeminded in that area! Luckily my hubby is very supportive though. ; )