Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Lost

I feel a bit lost right now.

I went in for my weighin today and found out that LA Weight Loss is closing. As of Jan 4th, it will be no more anywhere.

I must admit, I am terrified. I have so many thoughts running through my mind. The biggest one of all, can I still do this on my own? Id like to think that I can. I have done this for 19 weeks and I know what I need to do to lose weight. But unfortunately in the past with WW, when i didnt have to weigh in in front of someone and there was less accountability and encouragement, I did worse and worse each week. Granted my WW experience was completely different from this experience...I am still fearful that everything I have worked hard for is going to slip away. I will miss the accountability and the friendly encouraging counselors.

Worse yet, while they are technically closing the 4th, as I am out of town for over a week and they are limiting their hours next week, I will just be going in on Friday and then next Wed. And that is it forever. I am not ready for that. I am not ready to walk away.

I am also pissed. Angry. Upset. Everything. First, I am worried I wont get my money back. Already people on the message boards are talking about how they will not issue refunds. I can apply for one, but I am worried I wont really get it. Fortunately, I had 30 boxes of the lites left and was able to take them all with me this evening. I also bought 4 more cases of the meal replacement shakes as well as the carb ender supplements I take. So I feel that I have the tools that have helped me and enough to last me through what was supposed to be my weight loss phase. I feel bad for those who cannot get the rest of their lites before they are gone and will lose out on those too.

I just feel that this so wrong. not only did I have these 24 weeks of maintenance, but I had 6 weeks of stabilization and then a YEAR of maintenance. I am losing out on all of that support. Stabilization is hard in itself because you are adding food back into your diet to see where you can stablize your weight. I am scared to do this on my own. I am scared without the support i will lose focus.

I know so many of you have done this on your own and it is possible. I know there is nothing magical about this program or the centers or the counselors. but all of it together has changed my life. until this point in time I had failed at every attempt to lose weight and here I am, doing so well. I am just worried I will fail now again.

Later on when I can think more calmly, I will put together a plan for myself. I will look at all of the tools I have and I will think of how I will use them. Right now, my emotions are completely ruling my brain. It is taking a lot of strength to not turn to food (how ironic, isnt it). But I guess the fact that I havent is proof that I have learned a lot from this program and I can continue this one my own. Its going to be hard and it may just all the more longer than it was supposed to, but I cant give up now.

8 comments:

MB said...

That sucks that your center is closing but you shouldn't be scared. You did all the work to lose the weight and you can weigh in and get all the encouragement you need right here. You can do this without LAWL. You've worked too hard to give up. Hang in there.

Twix said...

WoW! How unexpected and that totally sucks!! I agree with MB.You can do this! Hang in there! ((hugs))

Kat said...

WOW, I'm shocked they are closing. Well you CAN still do this, I know its an old phrase but it works:

"Where there is a WILL, there IS a WAY!"

You can make it happen and you have support from your blogging buddies too! I'm doing it on my own....you have to learn to be accountable to yourself. (Gee I'm a good one to talk after I just gained weight on vacation lol) But really....we can do this! =0

Jan B said...

I am in a similar boat. I was taking Meridia, had a physical problem and had to quit it cold turkey. I was really scared and the adjustment has been rough, but I am making it. I hope you will too!

Chubby Chick said...

I understand your anxiety about LAWL closing, but I'm sure you'll do fine on your own, Heather. We're all here to cheer you on. We KNOW you can do this! :)

Once Upon A Dieter said...

It is unfair that they won't issue refunds given you're losing out on things you expected when you signed up.

But know what? Eventually, you would have segued into your own lifestyle management. I know you'll find products that will help you from more general providers (so that you can get them no matter what). Nowadays, dieting is such a huge business, many companies offer good meal replacements and shakes and such to help fatfighters.

And I know that on LAWL forums and groups, people will have suggestions and ways around the situation. People are adaptable--that's for sure.

You'll find a way. You'll do great.

But for now, sorry that they're pulling the dieting expectations rug from under you.

Hugs,
The Princess

Scale Junkie said...

I'm so sorry you are losing this :(

LAWL was a tool that worked because YOU put in the effort and did the work. I know you'll find another way to stay accountable and adapt your eating plan.

I have every faith and confidence in YOU!!

Teale said...

Oh no, why are they closing?

You may not have the support of the counselors, but look at all the support you've found on here! You can and WILL do it!