Ok the title is mostly for a little laughter effect. I will preface this entry by saying that in no way do I hold my boyfriend responsible for my weight gain and any failure I have at losing weight. My boyfriend is a wonderful guy who has always been very supportive of me and my goals, no matter what weight.
But what do you do when your boyfriend triggers you to eat?
I did NOT have a good weekend this weekend. I ate, a lot. I gained 2 pounds in 3 days!
What was different about this weekend is that I stayed at my boyfriend's all weekend long. Normally we dont do sleepovers every week, but this weekend we did. It was wonderful, but not when it came to food. My boyfriend is one of those people that can eat whatever he wants and is still skinny. When we met (and I was skinny), we would sit and eat together and he would love that I was a girl who enjoyed food. But I kept up with him, no matter what we were eating. I ate just like him, a man. And eventually it caught up to me. Not his fault, but its hard when you are in a relationship with someone and thats what couples do: go out to dinner, go to movies (with popcorn), go to bars and have a drink. When you are with someone who can enjoy that without a care for a calorie, you get caught up in it.
I got caught up in it this weekend. I felt like I had no control over food. I was helpless as to what food he had in his fridge. Normally I can plan out my meals and have control because I buy my food and know what I have and what I can eat. While some meals were healthy, 3 nights we ate things for dinner that I shouldnt have. Friday I was exhausted after a SHITTY day and hadnt eaten anything in several hours. I scarfed down 2 gyros (when I should have had one). I skipped on the salad. I ate all the fries. Saturday we went out to dinner and I ate all of my sandwich and most of my fries. Then I had a bunch of chips and salsa. Sunday I had 3 pieces of garlic bread pizza.
Why did I do this? Why is it so easy to eat like this when I am around him? He doesnt think twice and its so hard to say, no you cant have that pizza because I cant. Its hard to watch him eat chips and cookies like they are nothing when I have one and beat myself up over it.
So I am paying the price for this with a 2 pound gain. I have no one to blame except myself. He and I will most likely be together forever, so I cant sit there and eat like he does, or I will never be healthy, will never lose weight. I cant let him affect me like that anymore. I dont know why he is such a trigger..probably because most of our relationship for several years was based upon dates with food and eating and enjoying food together. But we arent 18 anymore and we cant eat like that anymore.
Today I ate perfectly and hopefully that 2 pounds disappears and I can forget this ever happened.