A good scale today - down to 157.2 which is 1.6 less than Wednesday. Friday is definitely my low day. I was still hoping to see that 156 again, but Im close enough.
I tracked a few more days, and it does look like I am coming up just a few hundred calories short of where Im supposed to be. Some days this isnt as much as others depending on what I eat. So I guess next week I will try to fit in an extra healthy snack here and there. Ill admit Im nervous about it, because normally you think youll eat more and maintain or gain. I know that if I went into the maintenance portion of my the LAWL program, I would be eating more, so I guess I feel slightly uncomfortable eating more with hopes of gaining weight. But its just a test to see and I know that if I do start gaining, Ill cut back again.
Ive been trying really hard to look at my body lately and see it how it really is. I think my self image is way off. The other day I got a friend request on Facebook from a high school friend. I accepted and proceeded to do what everyone does - look to see how they are doing and of course, compare themselves to them (I do anyways!). This friend wasnt obese or anything in high school, but she was definitely the heaviest of our friends. I checked out her pictures and she looks great! And by great, I dont mean that she dropped down to a small small size, but she has lost some weight. I was looking at her, and realized that she is probably about the same size and proportions that I am now. It got me to thinking about how hard I am on myself. Here I am thinking how great someone else looks when I too have a body like that. Its not the skinniest, but it looks healthy and proportionate. I am almost admiring what I have, and the reason is that I just cannot see what I have.
I dont really know how I go about changing myself image. Dont get me wrong - sometimes I look at myself and really like how I look. But other times I still look at myself and think that I dont look much different than when I was heavier. I know thats silly because looking at pictures, its quite obvious I dont look the same. I dont always feel like I see myself the way I really am. I am my own worst critic, and rather than looking in the mirror and liking what I see, I am so much harder on myself than I am looking at someone who has a body just like mine. Again, I am not sure how to really change this. Ive always been a perfectionist and while this has served me well in my professional life, personally its not the best quality to have. I need to really see myself and work past the issues I have with my self image. I guess I will have to do some researching around on the 'net to get some thoughts on how to change this.