Things are not going as I had expected. Namely, February didnt go as I had planned. I dont see to be going anywhere: with both my weight and measurements.
Last week I started off the week up high at 159.8 and dropped down to 158.2 by Friday, but today Im at 158.4. I started off February at 157.6. So now I have to claim a .8 gain for the month of Feb. Sure, thats basically a maintain, but why is it so freaking hard to lose weight?
Taking a step back, I know I was going to focus on my measurements. I was pretty excited to take them yesterday, but the disapointment settled in when I saw just how little all this exercise has really done. Sure, I have lost something, but its pretty measly. I actually GAINED in both of my thighs, which is really discouraging since that is the one part of me that needs the most work.
Heres how it went, and yes it is sad:
Right arm: -.03
Left arm: -.04
Right thigh: +.03
Left thigh: +.03
Not impressive. Maybe Im being too hard on myself, but Ive been putting in a lot of work into this. I work out 5 days a week, switching between exercises that work all parts of my body: aerobics, strength, yoga, pilates, balance,etc.
I wont lie, Im really upset. I feel almost like I have nothing. I worked hard for a month, and all I have to show is a gain with my weight, and some measly losses in measurements. Why isnt anything working for me? The thing is, I could stand to be this weight. It isnt even so much about the weight. If I was at this weight and had an awesome body, I would be satisfied. And now I cant even get that awesome body that I want.
So what to do? I dont know. I thought focusing on exercise would really help my outlook on things. While I still am going to put just as much effort, if not more, into exercising, I hate to think Ill waste another month of nothing. I shouldnt weigh more 3 months after xmas than I did before xmas. Its not as if Ive done the same old thing these past 3 months either - Ive worked my ass off, switched up some of my meals, switched up some foods Ive been eating, drinking more water. All of which should just be leading me towards success. And its not, and at this point, I feel really really lost.