Friday, June 27, 2008

Much Better

Ok yeah...Wednesday must have been a fluke because I just weighed in at 159.4! That is down .4 from Monday and I have no idea how I could have been up to 161 on Wed, but its a thing of the past. I hope to never see 160 again!

I wanted to take the time to look back at the goals I created for myself (and suggested by the LAWL counselors) when I started this and see how I have done. As we all know, its not just about losing weight, its about keeping it off and staying healthy. So here they are:

1. Learn to develop a healthy relationship with food: I definitely think I have accomplished this. I started out as someone who ate absolutely nothing healthy on an average basis. I never ate any vegetables, rarely had a piece of fruit, and 3 desserts a night. I wanted to fill up my day with the best possible foods to me, which meant processed food in the form of chips, chex mix, venti frappecino from starbucks, cheese and crackers, ice cream, popcorn, etc. I ate because I wanted comfort, because I was bored and lonely at times, or stressed out. I had a bad day....nothing a little chex mix wouldnt cure. Except it didnt cure anything. Some where along the way of this journey, I stopped viewing food as the solution to all my problems, and started viewing it as fuel for my body. I started eating 3 serv of vegetables and 3 serv of fruit a day. I cut out most processed foods. And my body thanked me! Oh did it thank the form of pounds and inches lost, and a healthy BMI. I finally realize that food is something that should be enjoyed, but its not the solution to lifes problems. I give myself an A on this goal because I havent just learned to eat healthy, I live it now. I go to the store and bypass all those middle aisles full of processed junk food. Most of my cart is filled with fruits and veggies, and if I cant read an ingredient on a label, I dont buy it. Some might say that I have gone a little too far with this goal as I am almost turned off by junk food. To me, it holds no nutritional value and the chemicals disgust me. Someone brought in these sour twizzler things and I took a bite since everyone was raving. I ended up gagging and throwing it in the garbage saying that I could taste the chemicals. Someone laughed and said that it tasted good to them, but I guess thats what happens when you cut that junk out! I think I have successfully met this goal!

2. Try to have a balanced meal every day, incorporating different types of foods: This is another goal that I give myself an A on. My "balanced" meal used to consist junk food. Maybe I would start the day off with some oatmeal, but it would go downhill from there. Now I realize that its not called "Balanced" for nothing. Eating ALL parts of the food pyramid is important and keeps your body in a wonderful state of being. I have more energy, my skin is smoother, my hair shinier, I rarely feel hungry, and I dont have to sit and count points or calories. I have learned the importance of each type of food from a food group and what it will do to benefit me. Now, a typical meal consists of at least a protein, a fruit, and a vegetable. I find a way to work my fats in (yes there are good fats!), dairy, and starches.

3. Dont be too hard on myself if I am not perfect with my eating habits or appearance: This was by far the most challenging goal for myself. I was one of those people that grew up in a household that happened to produce one eating disordered daughter (my sister), and one overeater (me). Somehow growing up, we got the message that we had to be perfect. Perfect in school, in appearance, in our lifes. In some parts of my life, being a little too perfect has helped me. However in this respect, the reason I failed so many times at losing weight was that I was too hard on myself. In the past, if I had a bad day and overate, I would just keep on overeating, thinking, hey I already blew the day. I would get so upset over what I did that I was essentially punishing myself. It was a never ending cycle, and its no surprise I never lost (or successfully kept off) any weight. I never realized that just because you eat something that is higher in calories or fat or whatever, doesnt mean that you are bad. That you have failed. Or that you have gained 5 pounds so you might as well keep eating. It doesnt mean that you will gain all your weight back. Those were the things I used to think. I no longer do. Now, I give myself a B on this goal because I still need to work at it. There are times when I eat something I perhaps shouldnt and I feel guilty. There are times when I am at a party or out to dinner and I have a bite of dessert or a snack dip and think, I just blew it. The reality is, I never have. I have lost weight. I did not fail. And more than half of those times, I still lost weight. Does anyone recall that I actually lost weight after Thanksgiving? Well I did and trust me, I did not eat on plan. So while I think I have made enormous strides in this area, I still have those nagging thoughts sometimes and my journey would be so much simpler if they would go away. I would like to go to a party or out to dinner and feel ok having a bite of something I enjoy without thinking of the scale. Or getting on the scale and seeing a gain and not immediately feeling like a failure.

Overall, its great to look back and see really just how far I have come. So often people lose weight but not their habits or mindsets and that is why they often fail. I feel confident going forward that I can handle most situations because I am no longer the same person that started this.


Ceres said...

This is a great post, Heather! Congrats on the new loss and on all the change you've brought to your lifestyle!

spunkysuzi said...

It always good to looks back and realize how far you've come and what you still need to work on.
You're doing great ;)

Michelle said...

It's funny, I spent a little time today reading over some old blog entries and really appreciating how far I've come too. It's so good to see your own accomplishments. I think if we never stop to do this then we're always focused on what's next and never feel satisfied. Good job!

I too struggle more with rigid thinking about food than anything else. You described it well.

Tori said...

Wow, you are doing so good. Your attitude about food is so good now. You really have made a huge change.

150s, wow what's next???

BTW, do you ever plan on posting a before and after picture?? I would love to see your progress,

Chubby Chick said...

Hi, Heather! What a terrific post!
You really have come so far. You should be so proud of yourself!

I struggle a lot with #3 in my own life. But I'm learning that it's OK to eat what I want, just not as much as what I want... and that it's OK to indulge at a party or special occasion... I just can't OVER-indulge.

All these small changes really do add up to big progress!

Cammy said...

Great post, Heather! You're definitely a changed person.

Anonymous said...

congrats on making such healthy changes, Heather. I know a lot of times it's easy to get wrapped up in the scale, and this post reminds us all that HEALTH not SKINNINESS is the goal!