There other day Lyn posted some questions she often poses to herself and others that really make you look at how you view food and what it "means" to you. I think its important that everyone look at their honest answers to these questions. I wanted to post my answers:
1. What types of food were you most likely to overeat? Anything crunchy or salty: doritos, chex mix. Pizza is another one I will always over eat, same with cheese.
2. What times of day did you overeat most often? Definitely at night. When I was doing WW, I would practically starve myself all day just so I could have enough points to eat the things I wanted at night. I would also sit and eat after a hard day at work or something happened that upset me. Now its kind of interesting that I rarely eat anything after dinner. Maybe I will have a cup of cocoa or some fruit, but never 3 desserts like I used to have!
3. What feelings were you having most often when you overate? Usually stress. I would have a bad day at work and think that I "deserved" to eat the food that I was eating. Usually it was hurt as well. Hurt if I had a fight with my boyfriend or parents. And also hatred for myself.
4. Do you think you have a binge eating disorder? I definitely dont think that I do now. But I may have. I cant say that I binged a lot which I would classify by maybe once a week or so, but at least once a month I would go to the store and buy a bunch of foods that I wanted to eat and would come home and eat until I was almost sick. I think it started back in college. On the weekends I wouldnt go see my boyfriend, I would order a large pizza and breadsticks from papa johns and stay in my apartment and eat it all. I would be almost sick but I wanted it eat it all for some reason.
5. What circumstances in your life do you believe contributed to your weight gain? I definitely think college was a start. I was on my own and could control what I was doing and didnt have to worry about my mom watching me. My issues with food definitely started at my home where I was always under the critical eye of my mom. At school I could eat when I wanted and make the choices I wanted, and soon I was choosing food to make me feel better or as replacements for other things in my life. Food just because such a wonderful treat and something I looked forward to. I would have a bad day and suddenly, having a brownie would make it just a little bit happier. I would come home from school and again, my mom would watch what I was eating and make me feel like these were "bad" foods that I should not be eating, which of course only made me want to eat them more.
6. Do you 'blame' anyone for your weight? Sometimes I blame my mom. I dont think its a coincidence that my sister has an eating disorder and I became an overeater. I know that I will always have issues about some things that happened when I was growing up. As a joke sometimes I blame my boyfriend too. When we first got together, we would eat out and I wanted to keep up with him. He had a snack, so did I. He wanted donuts at 2 am, so did I. But honestly, no one is to blame except me.
7. What other behaviors made you overweight? Once I was out of college, I would try to exercise, but never stuck with it. I know that definitely did not help. I also think the fact that I would eat so little during the day only set me up to be starving when I got home and eat everything in site. I think my lifestyle in general wasnt exactly conducive to weight loss. I was a grad student working 2-3 jobs at times just to get by and it was hard time in my life where I had little time for exercise and even less time to really think about the food I was putting in my body.
8. Were you active or exercising while you gained weight? Sometimes. I would join Curves and go for a while, but then quit. I would join a new gym, go and like it, then quit. I would buy an exercise dvd and love it, but quit after a while. Im glad that now I can say that I have been exercising consistently for a few months and havent quit!
9. Why did you choose that activity level? Time mostly. Sure anyone could make time (and if I can now, I could have then), but I was really busy. As I said, I worked and went to school, and the little free time I had, I choose to do other things. Laziness would also sum it up too.
10. What made you finally want to change? I never really accepted being in this overweight body. I wanted to try to just be happy, but I never could. I was tired of feeling fat and ugly and knowing people treated me differently because of my weight. I wanted to feel good about myself again. I also wanted to be much healthier. I was tired of food controlling me and wanted to eat it for fuel and give my body foods that helped it ward off illness,disease, and live longer. So many reasons actually, and all I can say is, I am so glad I did!