I realized today that I would have been starting my 24th week with LAWL. I had paid for 24 weeks, so that means that at this point, I would have either paid for more weeks, or I would have begun the stablization process of keeping my weight at this point. The counselors had assured me that I could lose 2 pounds a week and make it. In the beginning, I was losing 2 pounds a week. Somewhere about half way through, I hit a plateau and was going between 194 and 193 for almost 2 weeks. At that point, I knew I wouldnt make my goal in the 24 weeks that I had paid for.
On one hand, it would have been so nice to have only a week left. It would be nice to weigh 162 right now! It would have been terrific to go to my boyfriends xmas party next saturday having met my goal. However, I realize that I dont mind. That I am completely ok with where I am at now because I have accomplished a lot. I made it through the holidays having lost weight after Thanksgiving, and having gained only 2 pounds after xmas. That is pretty major for me.
Scale Junkie said something in her comment to my last post that really made me think a lot about this. She said she knew I was worried when LAWL closed and I had to do this on my own, but that I have completely made it work for me. She is so very right. I was scared beyond belief of doing this on my own. And I have been for about 4 weeks now. Everyone who posted that I was the one who was making this work, not LAWL, was completely right. I think that I see that more than ever now. LAWL is the plan, but I have made it work. Sure, LAWL gave me the tools to know what I should be eating. They also gave me the accountability I needed in the beginning to make this work long enough to become a habit and 2nd nature. But I am the reason that I have gotten this far. And I think I have done just as good without them as I was with them.
In a way, I realize some things I didnt like about LAWL that I am so glad to not have to deal with. For one, I always hated how they would scrutinize your food diary and even if you had a good loss that week, they would tell you to eat less bananas or apples. I always thought that was completely ridiculous because I didnt get fat eating those kinds of foods. Those are not foods to cut out of your diet. I realized that and played along with them, but now I am free to make the choices that are best for me. I also didnt like how they did place such an emphasis on 2 pounds per week. I rarely lose that anymore, and I was ok with that, but they werent. Im glad I can go on the scale and lose a pound, and celebrate that, rather than having to listen to them suggest ways I could have gotten another pound off.
LAWL changed my life in that it taught me how to lose this weight. What I needed to do to be the person that I wanted to be. Without that, I wouldnt be where I am now. But I am realizing now that I am the reason that this has worked. So even though this would have been my last week if I had lost 2 pounds a week, that is OK and I will treat this week as any other week and keep on going until I am at my goal.