Saturday, January 12, 2008

24th Week

I realized today that I would have been starting my 24th week with LAWL. I had paid for 24 weeks, so that means that at this point, I would have either paid for more weeks, or I would have begun the stablization process of keeping my weight at this point. The counselors had assured me that I could lose 2 pounds a week and make it. In the beginning, I was losing 2 pounds a week. Somewhere about half way through, I hit a plateau and was going between 194 and 193 for almost 2 weeks. At that point, I knew I wouldnt make my goal in the 24 weeks that I had paid for.

On one hand, it would have been so nice to have only a week left. It would be nice to weigh 162 right now! It would have been terrific to go to my boyfriends xmas party next saturday having met my goal. However, I realize that I dont mind. That I am completely ok with where I am at now because I have accomplished a lot. I made it through the holidays having lost weight after Thanksgiving, and having gained only 2 pounds after xmas. That is pretty major for me.

Scale Junkie said something in her comment to my last post that really made me think a lot about this. She said she knew I was worried when LAWL closed and I had to do this on my own, but that I have completely made it work for me. She is so very right. I was scared beyond belief of doing this on my own. And I have been for about 4 weeks now. Everyone who posted that I was the one who was making this work, not LAWL, was completely right. I think that I see that more than ever now. LAWL is the plan, but I have made it work. Sure, LAWL gave me the tools to know what I should be eating. They also gave me the accountability I needed in the beginning to make this work long enough to become a habit and 2nd nature. But I am the reason that I have gotten this far. And I think I have done just as good without them as I was with them.

In a way, I realize some things I didnt like about LAWL that I am so glad to not have to deal with. For one, I always hated how they would scrutinize your food diary and even if you had a good loss that week, they would tell you to eat less bananas or apples. I always thought that was completely ridiculous because I didnt get fat eating those kinds of foods. Those are not foods to cut out of your diet. I realized that and played along with them, but now I am free to make the choices that are best for me. I also didnt like how they did place such an emphasis on 2 pounds per week. I rarely lose that anymore, and I was ok with that, but they werent. Im glad I can go on the scale and lose a pound, and celebrate that, rather than having to listen to them suggest ways I could have gotten another pound off.

LAWL changed my life in that it taught me how to lose this weight. What I needed to do to be the person that I wanted to be. Without that, I wouldnt be where I am now. But I am realizing now that I am the reason that this has worked. So even though this would have been my last week if I had lost 2 pounds a week, that is OK and I will treat this week as any other week and keep on going until I am at my goal.

12 comments:

Kathy said...

We've all paid blind allegiance to weight loss plans because we had to believe in something...anything...since we didn't believe in ourselves. You are so lucky to have the opportunity to do this on your own and not feel your success is dependent on a weight loss plan. Your instincts were good...limiting fruits to lose 2 pounds a week was ridiculous. Congrats on what YOU have accomplished.

curvyjones said...

You're still doing fantastic, all on your own!

Hanlie said...

And the confidence you've gained is so valuable for you to be able to maintain the loss afterwards. I'm proud of you! And eat more fruit... your body needs it!

Chubby Chick said...

Wow! You sound like a new woman! You really do! I am SO happy that you are realizing that YOU have the power to do this! You HAVE done it... and you ARE doing it! You totally rock, girl! :)

Bev said...

Great post! =0

Lidian said...

You are doing just great on your own!

I think ultimately you do have to go it on your own, as no one is going to be on a plan like LAWL for the rest of their lives, right?

And apples and bananas are our friends!

janey said...

YOU CAN DO IT LOVELY!

Michelle said...

I love this post, probably because I can really relate to it. In the past, every time I left home for a period of time, I felt lost without having my trainer, but time after time after time, I have come back from trips and still have lost weight or have put in good quality time at a gym other than my own. Matt has told me so many times that it's me who is doing it, he's just helping in the process. Very, very, very true. Keep up the good work!

Teale said...

You've been doing a great job! LAWL gave you the tools you needed, and now that you have them, the sky's the limit!

40 by 40 said...

That is great that you didn't "fall off the wagon" when they closed! Like the rest said, LAWL wouldn't be with you forever, so great job doing it on your own. It is not as easy when you don't HAVE to report to someone. Keep it up--you are sooooooooo close.

Carleen said...

good for you--- you did make it work!! that is awesome...they taught you the building blocks and you've done great....I know when I was on WW before, had been there for 25 weeks lost 42 pds than I moved to a place where there were not meetings I did not have the strength/will/motivation to do it on my own so GOOD FOR YOU!!

Mary said...

Congratulations!!!
I think you have a lot more strength than you realize. This closing of LAWL came at the perfect time -- after they gave you a good start, but soon enough so that you could realize that the change was happening because of you!