Well this year is almost over and a new one beginning. I just weighed in at 181 so I lost .2 since Friday. Not as much as I had hoped, but not bad either. A loss is a loss. Too bad I cant ring in the new year in the 170s, but also looking back over this past year, I cant complain about where I am at.
I look at pictures of myself from last new years, I look horrible! At the time, I went out and felt great about myself and how I looked. Then I saw the pictures and was almost embarrassed that I was running around acting like I was such hot stuff when I was really just a fat girl pretending she wasnt fat.
I spent much of 2007 dieting by repeatedly trying WW, and then finally giving up for a while and trying to accept myself as an overweight person. Obviously that didnt work so well, but never in my life have I been so grateful that in August, I started LAWL. Even now, as I am still pissed that they are closing, I still owe them a lot. They helped me get back on track and make some healthy changes in my life. Some of the things that I have learned this year are:
While I still struggle at times (tonight will be one of them as I know I am likely to indulge in some things I shouldnt), I think I have gotten a real handle on my emotional eating. Rather than eat every time I am upset as I used to, I find that I am able to deal with the situation or stressor in a non-food way. I think things through calmly, I cry, etc. But I dont sit and eat. I no longer believe that food solves anything (and really, did it ever?). I no longer believe that after a bad day, I "deserve" that piece of chocolate cake or bag of doritos. Finally, I believe that I am actually worth a healthy body and dont need to destroy it with food because I have a bad day or "deserve" it.
I also made many different choices when it came to vegetables and fruits. I now eat 3 serv of each every day and increased my usual 3-4 glasses of water to at least 8 a day. I journal what I eat no matter what (with the exception of the past week and now regret it), and I make healthier choices when I go out to eat in a restaurant.
I am proud of what I have accomplished this year. While much of the year was spent hating myself and secretly miserable, I made a change and have stuck with it for 4 months. In those 4 months, I have lost almost 30 pounds! That is much to be proud of, and I can honestly say that I will continue the healthy habits I have learned and lose the remaining weight.
Some diet related goals for myself this year:
-Get more exercise in. Now that I won this fantastic Biggest Loser dvd (thanks Diana!), I need to use it!
-Continue making healthy choices when eating out at restaurants or hanging out with friends
-Dont get frustrated when I see a gain on the scale
-Use every resource I have to continue this fight to lose weight on my own now that LAWL has closed
-Make it to 160!!
I hope you all have a wonderful night tonight and enjoy yourself and what you have accomplished this year. And if you are feeling a bit lost, know that right NOW is the time to make the changes that you want to make. Make 2008 the best year that you can so next year at ths time, you can look back and be proud at what you have accomplished.