First things first - the weighin. Unfortunately I am back up..pretty back up actually to 159.8. Not very happy, but TOM has hit and Im insanely bloated, so Im pretty sure that is the cause. Exercise was definitely lacking this past week, so Im sure that hasnt helped. Just when I thought I was getting somewhere with the scale, and its back to the same old game again.
I did have a fun weekend though. Friday at work we had a Halloween party and me and two other girls dressed up as Guitar Hero/Rock Band characters, complete with guitar, microphone and drum sticks. That was pretty fun - I was Grunge, a coworker was Goth, and the other was Country. Saturday night my boyfriend and I went to a Halloween party, where I dressed up as Malice in Horrorland (scary version of Alice in Wonderland). I had a complete blast - I felt like I was in college again. We drank too much (which could be a reason I am up), and stayed out way too late. I also felt really confident and good about myself which is rare when I am around the people who were there. Anyone who has been a long time reader knows that the girls my boyfriend works with are total knockouts, and I always feel really self conscious around them. My boyfriend's supervisor hosted the party and she didnt even recognize me when I came in! She hasnt seen me since the winter/spring and so she really didnt know how much weight I had lost. She kept telling me how great I looked and for once, I didnt feel so intimidated by her and her good looks. In the past she has bothered me by being touchy feely with my boyfriend when she is drinking, and at one point in the evening her husband was actually being that way towards me, and I could tell she was jealous of me! What a feeling! I know that is probably wrong to feel happy that I made someone feel that way, but for too long she has made me feel like the pretty fat girl and now I could turn it around and have her realize what it feels like to make someone feel that way. Its sad though that it took me losing 50 pounds to actually be attractive to men again, that half of the guys at this party never even looked at me when I was heavy. But I enjoyed it and it was just another motivator for me to keep at this and continue to lose or maintain. Another coworker of my boyfriends told me that I am the perfect weight, which was nice to hear since it has been frustrating to be sitting in the same place for months now. Sometimes I really do see myself as fat still, so it helps to get some affirmation every now and then.
Malice in Horrorland
Lastly, I just want to remind everyone to vote tomorrow. This is a big year for me, as I have never voted before. In the past, I was one of those people who felt that neither candidate was right, neither spoke to me, and I didnt vote. Im not proud of that, but its the truth. This year, I actually believe in someone so much, that I actually want to vote for the first time. I feel that things can really change for this country, and quite honestly, I am tired of the older generation making decisions for my generation. We have to live in this country with its problems far longer, and I think its about time that my generation (the late 20's), need to step up and really say a "Fuck you" to those who have been making the decisions for us. We are the ones who have rarely voted in the past, and its about time that we show the country that we are tired of the way things are going, and want a change. Tomorrow I will be voting for someone who really speaks to me and the things I face in my young life. Who is intelligent and honest. I have HOPE in this person. I believe in this person. While you may not agree with me, at least vote. Tomorrow I am voting for: