Friday, June 20, 2008

Friday Weighin

drumroll....160.6! I lost .4 since Monday and this puts me at only .6 away from my goal! You can see that I am obviously thrilled. Two weeks ago I was 160.8 so this puts me at a new low. God I am so close that I can almost taste it.

And do you know what I saw while standing on the scale...the numbers were moving into 159! Sure thats not my actual weight, but to see that on the scale made my heart stop.

I really hope by this time next week, I can be at goal. TOM will be over and I dont see why .6 could be that hard to lose? I am going to stay so focused this weekend on exercise and eating and I know that I can do my very best to be there.

In other news, dinner with my grandparents went ok. I will note that I actually really despise my grandma, which sounds mean, but she is not a very nice person and being around her is very difficult. As I mentioned before, my grandparents are both obese and just do not care. Their health is just horrible and they really are not very understanding about healthy ways. I showed up to the restaurant about 10 min late and found that they were already scarfing down bread (this restaurant puts out focaccia bread with oil and mozzarella), without me. I was able to find one healthy dish that was grilled. It was just chicken and vegetables, and there was a kind of balsamic vinegar glaze over it with rosemary and honey. Truthfully I didnt care for the dish, especially knowing I could have gotten the farfalle or some other fattening pasta dish as I would have once, but I also felt good that I was eating healthy.

My grandparents on the other hand ordered big pasta dishes, and while that is fine, they ate everything on their plates. It was kind of disgusting considering they had eaten 3 baskets of the bread and oil beforehand. They kept saying how they were so full but it tasted so good. I know that feeling..that used to be me. And looking at them, if I had continued my unhealthy lifestyle, I would have become them. I am so glad that I have stopped those habits. The dish I got came with 3 chicken breasts which was a bit much, and I ate one and took the other 2 home. I dont know if I will eat them because it wasnt amazing.

It was dessert time and as predicted, my grandma ordered me this giant chocolate cake slice with a candle in it. It arrived and I offered it to both of them, but they wanted their own desserts! So I was stuck with the cake. I had a few bites to be polite, but it was very rich and I couldnt eat more than that. My grandma then pressured me to take it home and I said that I appreciated the cake and that it was delicious, but that I didnt need to eat it again. She was not happy with that and I did feel bad, but even if I would have had it wrapped up, I would have thrown it in the garbage when I got home.

So overall, it wasnt the best experience. I know I probably sound like an ungrateful bitch sometimes when I talk about watching others eat, and I dont mean to sound that way. But its almost as if I was brainwashed for years sometimes. I can remember exactly how it felt to sit at a meal and just eat and stuff myself and not care about what I put in my body. I know those feelings, the feelings that say, its so good I am not going to stop eating it. To ignore my body saying, you are full stop. And now I just am so turned off by the unhealthiness of it all. Not the people themselves, but how we as a society have gotten this way about food. It is a big step for me to get this far. I really have done more than just lose weight..I have lost my mentality that food is so important, that it is the solution to everything, that it is worth clogging my arteries, etc. I am so conscious of what I put into my body and what it does for me and I love that power. I love that I would rather go and buy foods that are not processed, or full of antioxidants, fiber, etc. than go in and buy a bag of processed chemicals we call doritos or chex mix. I feel at home this way, it feels right.


Cammy said...

I'm so happy for your weigh-in! It does feel good to see that magical 1-5, doesn't it? I'm trying for 1-4, just once. :)

Sounds like you got through the dinner the best way you could. Maybe you could doctor the takehome chicken somehow to make it more palatable?

Have a great weekend and keep that focus!!

Ceres said...

Good job on the new loss, I'm really glad for you! And great job at the restaurant, I think you handled it perfectly. It's ironic how the people who supposedly love us become so judgmental when we don't follow their eating habits, even when it's for our own good and they know it!
If you don't like that chicken, just throw it out and pretend it was never in your fridge. There's no room for calories that we don't enjoy taking in ;-)

Katy said...

You go girl! 0.6 pounds we go!

Laura N said...

You are so close! Great job staying focused.

You can love your family, but don't have to like them. And family is the worst for being food pushers. At least you made it through w/o eating to get through it.

Anonymous said...

160...sounds nice. :)

I think it's hard for loved ones who have been in a pattern of rewarding/loving with food to stop. Saying no well, it's almost like rejection of THEM, not just food. Silly, but true.

I think saying no to loved ones should be EASY--ie, they should be on our side, helping us along. It shouldn't be an emotional minefield.

But in time, they'll get used to how you care about what you eat, how much, when, etc.

I think you're doing great, and I hope eventually eveyone gets on board and helps you, not tempt you.

The Princess

Tori said...

Wow, bravo!!! Your so close, next week!

ashley said...

.6! You saw your goal! Woohoooooo!

Crystal said...

You are so close! Hope you hit your goal weight by next week.

As for the food comments, I think you have good points. You have been on both sides and know what food can do to you. I think food has the same effects as having a drug/alcohol problem. We overindulge to mask something else or use it to take the place of something that's missing instead of searching for that missing link. I hope you can be an inspiration to others who are struggling to let go of their vices.