Was down .4 today so that is good. Although I think it was due to the pants I was wearing. Normally I weigh in wearing jeans, but today I was wearing black pants.
I was wearing black pants because I had to go to a wake tonight for my boyfriend's cousin. It was really sad. I did not know him that well, but he was only 31 and it is just a shame.
At the same time, it makes caring about weight the last thing on my mind. Im glad Im down, but I dont really care either when there are other more important things to focus on.
However, I did start to think about my weight as the pastor they brought in spoke a lot in detail about making the most of your life. He said that you shouldnt look back on your time and think about what you should or could have done. Rather, you should look back and be proud of the things that you have accomplished.
I like that because for me, the last thing I wanted was to spend more years looking at old pictures of myself and longing to be that thin again. I did something about it and now I wont spend that time wishing that things had been different. I am accomplishing something with my life that I can carry with me throughout the years. I have accomplished a lot of other things as well, but this is probably the biggest thing I have ever done for myself. My boyfriends aunt spoke about how her son could have done anything with his life, could have been many things. And that is true for anyone. We all have the power to do what we want with our life. Yes, it is harder for some than others, but we all have the power to change.
My boyfriend's cousin died of an overdose. It was really sad for me because I thought of my sister and how she is killing herself with her eating disorder. Our bodies and our health are so important, that it is hard to see people who destroy that. I realize now after all this dieting and weight loss, etc., that our bodies are amazing. We have the power to change them. Above all, we must treasure them and appreciate them for what they are. Will I ever look like I did at 18? No. But I can treat my body with the utmost respect by putting food in me that is healthy. By exercising. I dont want to be a person who sits back and wishes that I had been healthier, etc.