Thursday, October 25, 2007

Mistake Rant

I am going to post a rant about the LA Weight Loss ivillage messageboard. That place is pissing me off.

I started going to that blog when I started LAWL because I thought it would be a great community where I could find others doing what I am doing, and to get tips and inspiration.

There is inspiration. There are women who have lost 100 pounds or more which is just phenomenal.

What is ticking me off is the attitude these women have. They act like they are so perfect! There have been a lot of new people on the board just starting out and are writing about their difficulties and mistakes. These women are treating them like crap! One woman posted something to the "newbies" saying that they could never make it through the program if this is what they were doing. Well everyone is human!!! Everyone makes mistakes. But a lot of the older members think they are superior and obviously have forgotten that weight loss does not come easy to everyone. I felt bad for this one poster who is obviously having a difficult time losing weight and is getting frustrated. They are not offering her help, only making her feel like crap because she is "failing" in their eyes.

One woman today posted a message about whether or not she could sell her LA lite bars. Her post was later gone and someone asked why it had been removed. This woman posted "she probably is quitting the program and was embarrassed so she removed her post". Now why would anyone assume that? Maybe this woman just didnt like the taste of those lites and didnt want to waste money. It actually turns out her post was removed by ivillage because it was considered "solicitation" which I dont think she was trying to do. But why would you automatically assume that someone is failing? Such a nasty thing to say! Imagine that woman and how that probably made her feel. Even if she was quitting the program, that is her right!

They are also making anyone who isnt losing 2 or more pounds a week like they are doing something wrong. Me included for a while. One woman asked me what I was doing wrong, that I was in my 10th week (at the time) and had only lost like 11 pounds or something. Im like, nothing!! I stood up for one woman today because they were picking on her slow weight loss and I said that everyone loses weight at their own rates. Just because people dont lose at the same rate means they are doing something wrong.

I realized today that this messageboard is completely unhealthy. I get no support there and always feel ashamed to even go on there if I have gained or made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. If we are really doing this for the long run, then its to be expected we make mistakes. We need to learn from them.

I get more support out of reading all of your blogs than you will ever know. I see so many of you going through what I am going through, and the last thing I could think of would be to tell you that you are failing or that you need to be perfect. you dont need to hear that, it doesnt help anything. So thank you to everyone who reads me and to all those that I read. We may all be losing weight in different ways, but at least we are all encouraging, inspiring, and positive and that is the kind of support that I need.

8 comments:

Mary said...

Interesting.
There's a book out by the Three Fat Chicks. It reviews different diet plans. Some of the people who reviewed LA Weight Loss said that they were advised by their counselors not to exercise, as building muscle would mean that they wouldn't always make their goal to lose 2 pounds a week. Have you ever been told that?

*ccc* said...

Oh, please don't let those nasty internet women get you down...and know that it's not at the LAWL boards that things are bad. I stopped going on the WW message boards because some of them are just so full of vitriol and poison. And yes, women who have lost weight and think they're above the struggles others may have.

Everyone needs an encouraging kick in the behind, but there's a difference between tough love and nastiness. And unfortunately, I think a lot of times, the anonymity of the internet allows people to be their worst. It's sad.

You just have to focus and surround yourself with things that are positive and encouraging. Those of us who fit the bill will do our best to be there.

Keep up the good fight!

Lyn said...

You are doing FINE. Don't let those silly people bug you. Come to 3fc and post with some really nice folks. I am proud of you!

Lisa said...

Message boards can go through fluctuations like that. Take a breather and go where you need to be. Sometimes the WW boards can be like that too. Snarky. It is too bad women can get like that with each other, even when it is so annonymous (sp?)

BTW, I loved you TFTS Biggest Loser post. Great job with post!

Minke said...

this is why I've been unhappy with some of these weight loss programs. They take your money for what? To tell you to do what you know to do? No... it's mostly the SUPPORT... and I've found more of that online in these blog communities than I would have if I'd paid for it!

I've found more positive people working on (and succeeding at) weight loss just browsing the blogs than I think I'd ever meet in a group.

Scale Junkie said...

Don't let a forum derail you, only participate if you get something from it. I've found that there are people on forums who will suck the energy from you if you let them. DON'T LET THEM!!

wyndesnow said...

I think you are doing an awesome job and are a great motivator for those of us that need to lose the weight. I have been struggling with my weight for a long time. I know I need to lose the weight for myself and I get frustrated when the scale does not move and give up. Don't let the negative posts get you down. I had joined Ladies Workout Express, they were having a Skinny Jeans program, what a waste of money. Their support was not what I would call support, if you gained they criticized and when you did lose, it wasn't enough. Thank you for the inspiration to get back in the groove.

Teale said...

I know it's not the same topic, but that's why I stopped frequenting theknot.com. So many women who are now married are still on there (why, I don't know... get a life!), but they bash women for asking questions and try to make them feel stupid for having certain things at their wedding. The main idea is the same though: what works for one person doesn't always work or happen the same way for another.